JOHNNY'S STORY Aboard the maiden voyage, written by wesley kimbrell.


I stowed away on board this ship in escape with only 10 quid taped on my gut to get away from the tax collectors. I found me some tea and rashers and enjoyed a small meal.

Five Hours Ago

"Hey you stop their you Gee-Eyed gambler", yelled by the guard.

I yelled back, "I didn't steal the quids", "I only borrowed them for mitch."

The guard exclaimed, "That's horse-hoof, get back here!"

I quickly jumped the fence and lost him as I ran on board a large ship. Then I realized it took off and I went upstairs to see I was on the Titanic's Maiden Voyage. I quickly went to the cargo hold and stole a suitcase. It had clothes that fit me perfectly. I quickly put then on and grabbed the ticket inside of it.

A steward asked, "What are you doing down here you are not suppose to be here are you locked?"

I replied," I'm was bringing my luggage to my room." I looked on the ticket and it said, FIRST CLASS! I was on the unsinkable ship and I had a free first class ticket and no one knew I didn't belong here. I went to my room and I saw a jar amount of soap. That is so rare.

As I was walking a man stepped out of nowhere and ran into him.

He yelled, "You filthy langered stook go before I have the quarter of arms throw you back in 3rd class where you need to be right now and not with us up here!"

I replied, "Oh you'll love this you thick in the head man." I showed him my ticket and he jumped out of his boots.

He exclaimed, "How can such a young kid get this ticket, you must have stole it!"

I quickly replied," I bought this fairly get going before I batter ya!" He went on his way. As I went down the corrider I got knackered and I walked back to my room. Everything I owned (not the room belongings) was in drobes. Everything was broken. I called a steward to clean up my stuff. I found my watch not broken under my bed so I was okay. The steward told me the boat almost hit another boat.

He said, "The boat almost hit another ship called the New York, but our captain got away before we hit, he said everyones item will be compensated for in first class."

I replied," Why not replace 3rd classes?". "Their stuff was peeled too, they may need compensation?"

He replied, "The 3rd class do not know you will be compensated so keep it like that."

I was disgusted by the ship's captain for doing this his noodle must be whack. I fell on my bed and drunk a bottle of baby power from the tiny fridge and stuffed my face with some Bap. In the morning I walked to the clippers and got a bazzer. I didn't feel like blathering so after my cut I walked back to my room. I was interrupted by a passenger.

The passenger said, "Hey upstairs neighbor I'm Jack"

I replied, "Oh hello my name is Johnny","Where in the ship are you from?"

Jack replied, "I'm from 3rd class, sorry to bother you, but are they going to repay us for our belongings?" I thought for a minute to tell him the truth or lie, I decided whatever he doesn't know the least likely I'll get busted.

I replied, "Fella I do not know, but you will be the first to hear!" I took a gulp of relief.

I felt like a bad person that moment, but I knew it was for the best. Time for me to rest. It is April 14 and I need rest for the long day tomorrow. I was on my way to America on the unsinkable Titanic!

Gansters from the time. That passenger was him.

Fella :Used for your guy, as in ‘Me Fella’ partner/husband/boyfriend

Quid: one pound sterling.

Rashers: a thin slice of bacon.

Tea: A small snack

Gee-Eyed : to become dangerously intoxicated beyond the realm of reason.

Mitch : A friendly person

Horse-Hoof : Stupid or Obsurd

Locked : Drunk

Jar : Slang word for about a ounce a Jar full

Langered : Drunk

Stook : Idiot

Thick : Stupid

Batter Ya : Fight and Beat unsenseably

knackered : Sleepy Exhausted

Drobes : Destoried, Ruined

Peeled : Destoryed

noode : Head

Whack : Insane

Baby Power : Achohol

Bap : Bread

Clippers : Salon

Bazzer : Haircut

Blathering : Talking

24 irish slang 9/24 are insults so 37.5% are insults.

Created By
Wealey Kimbrell


Created with images by Skitterphoto - "barbwire barbed wire wire" • taiyofj - "Goro keeps suitcase" • Ninian Reid - "Angler Al Capone"

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