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What to do with a Review critique the critique

Adjectives: Doughy, Bland, Compound Sentence, Use of the Ellipsis, It's v. Its, Verb Tense

What do you notice about voice and/or the stylistic devices of the writer?

Elements of Grammar:

Great European train stations stir my wanderlust. Stepping off a train in Munich, I stand under the station's towering steel and glass rooftop and study the big, black schedule board crowned by the station clock. It lists two dozen departures. Every few minutes, the letters and numbers on each line spin and tumble as one by one cities and departure times work their way to the top and flutter away.

Surrounded by Germany on the move, I notice businessmen in tight neckties, giddy teenage girls, and a Karl Marx–like bum leaning on a Bierstube counter. The fast and the slow, the young and the old, we're all in this together — working our way up life's departure board.

Great Writing!

SENTENCE MODELING:

It's like riding a bike with training wheels.

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