The Overland Park Times Putting the "New" in newspaper

Top Stories

Toy Tornado Continues

By Jimm Timmburr, Animal Consultant

Early this morning in a small house in Overland Park, a dog named Cain destroyed yet another rope toy using brute force. Since he was adopted by the McCullough family in 2015, the medium-sized black lab- retriever mix has torn apart "hundreds of toys of all shapes and sizes", according to Suzanne McCullough.

Not only has Cain pulverized ropes, but he has also obliterated so-called "indestructible" toys, including Kongs. Besides his taste for toys, Cain also enjoys eating articles of clothing, especially socks. To find the tastiest rope toys for your dog to eat, just visit the dog aisle at your local Target, and the adventure begins!

Featured

The Vacation Destination

By Jimm Timmburr, Lifestyle Consultant

"I am so excited!" During spring break, the McCullough family will go to Minnesota for the first time in 7 years. "We have been a little nervous to go back ever since we almost lost my oldest son, [Kenny] but I think I'm ready now", said Suzanne McCullough. Last time the family went to the land of 1,000 lakes, Kenny wandered off and was found underneath a boat that was on the shore.

Even with that unsettling experience, the family still had "loads of fun", according to Suzanne. Even with that in mind, the happy family was still a little wary of the dangers of random boats, and has not gone back since. Now, seven years later, they have finally decided to go back.

During their vacation, the McCulloughs will do many exciting things, like visiting the mall of America and seeing their relatives. Truly, their vacation will be "an experience to remember for years to come!"

Minnesota Lakes are a breathtaking sight to behold, but they are also home to dangerous docked boats.

The Sports Page

Legendary team in the making

By Jimm Timmburr, Games Consultant

On February 22, the Bulldogs baseball team had their very first baseball practice at Franklin Park to prepare for their upcoming season. This new team is sure to have much success in their 3&2 league due to the fact that it includes many great players, including Luke McCullough, the team’s new catcher. “I think we'll do awesome!” said Luke, when questioned about how well he thought his team would play. The team’s coaches, Eric McCullough and Dave Shaw, are hopeful as well. “I think this is gonna be a pretty good team”, said Eric.

While this may sound all fine and dandy, the formation of the Bulldogs is actually a sad occurrence. Its father team, the Lancers, was a metro league-winning beast, gathering a massive hoard of trophies and medals over the course of its existence. However, some of the ballplayers on the Lancers decided that they would like to try out for an even more competitive experience, while others wanted things to stay the way they were. This lead to the notorious breakup of 2016, where the team was utterly destroyed.

Now, a new team has arisen from the rubble of the former legend. For those who want to see the Bulldogs in action, their first game will be on April 9 at the West 3&2 complex.

The One-stop Funshop

Try to find all of the words in the list!
Start in the middle and try to escape!

These puzzles are brought to you by word search maker and mazegenerator!

Entertainment

iMovie innovation

By Jimm Timmburr, film consultant

A recent, not-so well known iMovie documentary has shocked the minds of many and received many awards. This iMovie is named... [deep breath] Good Vibrations, a Science Fair Project by Luke McCullough. Let's take a closer look at what made that instant hit so incredible.

First of all, it contains earth-shaking research using state-of-the-art materials. Director Luke McCullough said that he used "Multiple snap circuits sets, including Snap Circuits Extreme". Using these expensive testing units, Luke was able to uncover the secrets of vibrations and electricity.

Secondly, his camera was first-class. The photography powers of the average iPad are nearly limitless. Coupled with iMovie's beautiful 24FPS rendering, the filming itself proved that the documentary was going to be an instant classic.

Overall, Good Vibrations was an incredible work of art that is sure to be remembered for years to come. For those who want to watch the masterpiece, all you have to do is steal the director's iPad and figure out how to recover deleted iMovie data.

Editorials

Up and down and back again

By Jimm Timmburr, Stair Consultant

On an unknown date, someone in a position of power at Indian Hills Middle School decided that it would be smart to force people to go up on some staircases, and down on others. While that person probably had good intentions, their dreams have clearly not been very well thought out.

First of all, the up and down staircases cause people to be late to class. In a recent survey taken in Mrs. Holsworth's 2nd hour class, 75% of students said that they had received a tardy due to the fact that they had to follow the "staircase rule". This can be detrimental to the student's learning experience, and even cause them to receive detentions unjustly.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "The up and down staircases make traffic flow better!" This is not true. Take SME for example. At East, there is no staircase rule, and students are able to get around just fine. All they have to do is walk on the right side of the stairs, and no one will ever run into each other.

Also, most people who do get to class on time don't follow the staircase rules. For example, in the same study that was previously mentioned, some of the students that said they had been late to class because of the unfortunate ordinance stated that once that happened, they stopped following the rule, and have gotten much better attendance. "Ever since I stopped following that rule, I don't think I've been late once", said Christian Alldredge, when questioned about his attendance.

So, in conclusion, without the staircase rule, IHMS could function much better. Not only is the rule frustrating to students who receive tardies because they are trying to do what they're told, but it has been proven by other schools that not having the staircase rule doesn't make a difference in the flow of traffic whatsoever. Simply put, the staircase rule is unnecessary and pointless. It would certainly be an improvement if it was abolished.

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