A lot can be said about a person who handles situations a certain way. Look at job interviews for example. Employers will ask someone interviewing for a job a bunch of questions and try to get a feel for how this potential future employee of theirs will react and handle the questions they throw at them. They usually ask that one question we all love (hate) to answer, “Describe a difficult situation in either work or life that you’ve had to deal with. Tell me how you went about dealing with that situation and how you overcame it.” If you’ve never had to answer this question in an interview, then I really envy you because I’ve had it asked on every interview of mine. Why this question? Employers ask this because it tells a lot about a person. Whether they make their answer up or provide some mediocre story, the employer wants the same answer. They want you to tell them how you had to overcome an obstacle so they can judge how you will overcome obstacles with their company. They also want to know how you overcame whatever it is you overcame because it shows the employer who you are as a person. Let’s put it this way. If you answer the question saying how your obstacle was, “Well one time I was walking out of the grocery store with all my things, when I noticed someone had double parked me in my spot leading to me not being able to get out. Frustrated, I decided the only way to get out of my spot was to call the cops and have it be towed away. By the time the cops came with the tow truck, the elderly lady who owned the vehicle came out (as the car was about to be towed) begging me to not tow the car because she couldn’t afford it. So I just started laughing at her and said you caused this inconvenience for me so I have no choice but to make you pay for what you did.” Could you imagine the look on the employer’s face after you follow up their question with that? Instead of that story, the employer would probably want to hear something about how instead of calling the cops, you walked into the grocery store and asked them to announce over the speaker if the owner of the car would kindly move it so you could get out. This would not only make you come off like you handled the situation in a mature manner, but you also are considerate of the other person.
Just like the grocery store parking lot story, there are two ways we can handle everything that we come across in our lives. We can either take the easy way out and call the cops, or we can make an unexpected U-turn back into the grocery store to actively and maturely fix the situation that we have come upon. Let’s go back to Adam and Jack. Both men have very similar lives but one handles situations differently than the other. Can you guess who? Jack is someone who has a great life with a wife who loves him. Even though he had a rocky past with his father, he works every day to become a better person and move on in a healthy and mature way from the cards he’s been dealt in his past. He works extra hard on being someone who is happy. He realizes the past he was given with his father, forgives and lets go of what happened, and leaves the past in the past. He focuses on the present with his wife Jill, and looks forward to having children of his own. He is extremely excited for the day he becomes a father because he knows the last thing he will ever do is turn into his father. Instead, he will be the best father and husband he can possibly be. He took a hard look at the wrongs his father made leading up to his abusive behavior and is cautious when he drinks because of it. Adam on the other hand has a hard time letting go of the past. He struggles with being able to forgive his father for what he did. He believes that no matter what he does in his life, his life will never be what it could have been had his father not abused him. He drinks to forget the pain and it has been affecting his relationship with Eve. She’s afraid that if his drinking continues, he will end up being abusive like his father and because of this, she is second guessing having kids with him. Adam sees the stress in Eve’s eyes. He knows that their marriage won’t last if he doesn’t change, but all this talk of change just pushes him to drink more. The thought of him not drinking scares him because at this point in his life, it’s the only escape from the harsh reality that he knows and is afraid to deal with.