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SIX WAYS TO LIVE MORE HONESTLY WITH YOURSELF! Wake up to the lies you tell yourself

Let me start by asking...

Do you lie to yourself?

If you be truly honest for a moment .... you will raise your hand and say I do!

It’s not so easy as we would like to think though answering this question.... And why is that? Well to being honest with you it's because our self-deception is often unconscious.

If however you do suspect that you in some ways are being dishonest with yourself, then congratulations, this tells me that you are courageous and self-aware. Owning up to your own faults and flaws shows vulnerability and that will bring you far on your spiritual growth path.

Before I share six ways to live more honestly with yourself....

Let’s first shine some light on signs that you are indeed lying yourself.

ESCAPISM

A part of you wants to just run, run away. But away from what you’re not that sure about.

You just feel something isn’t right and it’s hovering in the darkness and you don’t like it.

CREATIVE EXCUSES

A part of you is good at either justifying your behaviour or other people’s bad behaviour.

This part of you can be deceptive. On one hand it will provide you with good reasons but on the other hand the reason is very much flawed.

Or this part finds itself making excuses for other people’s bad behaviour because it’s easier than making hard decisions based on the truth.

BLAMING

A part of you finds it difficult to accept responsibility for anything that happens, instead it likes to point the fingers at others and blame them.

This part is afraid of answering to the truth.

PRETENDING

A part of you has become very attached to doing things that are inauthentic to you to feel accepted on some level.

This leaves you not really knowing who you are, feeling like you’re a fake in some shape or form.

WEARING ROSE TINTED GLASSES

This is another form of escapism but instead of a part of you that feels it wants to run away, instead this part of you prefers to live in a dreamworld.

This part of you likes to keep believing that everything will work out, not facing the truth of the reality.

DEEP ROOTED ANXIETY

A part of you feels continuously insecure which has you always second guessing yourself and wondering if you really are doing the right thing or making the correct decision.

UNALIGNED HEART & MIND

A part of you likes to convince itself that all is going well and that it has everything under control.

However, emotionally beneath the surface you are at constant boiling point. Ready to explode or burst into tears.

Honesty is a huge part of self-improvement because when we aren’t honest with ourselves we can’t expect to learn and grow as individuals.

By choosing dishonesty, we will see only what we want to see, ignoring what we don’t want to see. As with any other form of good or bad behaviour there is always a positive intention. We benefit from this type of behaviour because it provides on the short-term the feeling of happiness or relief, but long term it is unhealthy and destructive.

Being honest with ourselves is sometimes painful but a necessary ingredient for sustainable happiness and success in our lives.

Below are six key ways you can live more honestly with yourself.

GET IT OUT AND ON PAPER

Self-growth demands being accountable.

How you feel about a situation, someone or something when left in your head doesn’t have the opportunity to be observed in the most neutral way.

Writing down what you’re feeling about different topics is a good way to process it more clearly.

When you see your thoughts and feelings in black and white on paper, you may come to realize that you’ve been lying to yourself because the feelings that you continue to circulate in your head are either clouded or conflicted.

START using a journal and you will gradually begin to extract what your genuine feelings are beneath the mask that lies above.

REPLACE “YES” WITH “NO” MORE OFTEN

Saying yes seems to come so easily to many of us. Yet how many are really an honest yes?

And if not honest, it means you are lying which often has you doing things you don’t really want to be doing.

By saying things that aren’t true, you essentially betray your inner self as you ignore your real feelings or intentions.

Start taking a 3 – 5 sec pause before jumping in and agreeing to do something.

First ask yourself......

“is this really aligned with who I am and what I want to be doing with my time and energy”?

Like the saying goes, honesty is the best policy. Saying no shows that you possess integrity and that you want to maintain it.

It’s very healthy to steer clear of things you know don’t serve you.

GET A DIFFERENT VIEWPOINT

Figuring out how you really feel about a situation, someone, or something can get tricky as you aren’t always fully aware whether what you are feeling belongs to you or not right?

Spending time alone to examine your thoughts and feelings can actually be difficult. This is because you feel vulnerable with yourself.

However, spending time with those who know you well, accept you, love you, and support you are actually more likely to uncover if and what you’re lying to yourself about.

Start questioning what’s really holding you back from having this level of honesty with yourself.

What are you trying so hard to cover up?

Doing this in a safe space, with someone you trust, it’s such a great way to learn more about yourself. Or get a coach!

EMBRACE VULNERABILITY

In general, you have either a part of you that lies to cover up your own insecurities. This part may like to fake your successes in order to look less like the failures it believes you might be.

Or you have a part that lies by telling you you’re perfect and that you have no reason to change or alter your behavior.

Confidence and self-love are very important, but so is self-acceptance, acceptance of all of who you are, flaws in all.

Time to press the stop button.

Each time you find yourself denying certain things you may not have done very well or lying to yourself about how fantastically something has gone, you harm yourself and self-trust weakens.

It’s time to call upon the curious part of you.

Let this part of you take a moment to question why another part of you feels the need to cover things up so much. Let yourself know that you want to understand yourself better. Create a safe space so that different parts of you can begin to open up to you.

Admit that you are struggling or that you could have done better – it doesn’t make you a bad person!

If anything, being so self-aware and open to improving yourself makes you an even better person.

CATCH YOURSELF IN THE ACT

It’s not always easy to know what you’re lying about. Get into the habit of catching yourself in the act of doing so, it’s important.

Start with just a simple step. Track how many times a day you realize that you’re not being completely honest with yourself. Tune into the energy that you feel around that lie.

Ask yourself “who is this part of me”?

It’s not the time to judge this part of you or its actions. It’s about recognising this part of you that has a habit of lying. Really, it has only good intentions. Acknowledge that and learn what these are.

This tracking will also help you identify how this parts of you gets triggered. For example, you may notice this part lies every time you to talk to your boss or a certain friend.

This can then help you figure out what’s really going on. You can then start to re- educate this part and introduce a new more empowering behaviour that supports self-integrity.

LEAN INTO FEAR (it doesn’t bite!)

Some things just seem fearful, whether that’s admitting that your relationship isn’t going well or realizing that you really don’t like your job anymore.

Being confronted with truths may make you uncomfortable and feeling uncomfortable on some level you might believe is not good. So, your natural instinct is to turn a blind eye.

In this way, you can easily lie to yourself on a daily basis. It makes you feel better about your choices, despite the slight uneasiness you feel when you think of them.

CONCLUSION

Please understand everyone lies to themselves, no -one is excluded because it’s just part of being human. Also, not being fully truthful to yourself doesn’t mean you are a dishonest person.

Remember, it’s just one part of you that feels the need to be dishonest and it has been doing this from an early age as a form of protection.

Now though that you’re at least partly conscious of this part of you, you can work with it to bring more truth into your everyday life. Honesty is something that requires daily practice. You don’t just become completely honest with yourself overnight. It takes constant self-awareness. Being honest with yourself can be painful but it is also very highly rewarding.

When the honest part of you meets your willingness to want to heal your inner child, the sky is your limit. You will grow and improve in so many ways, you will surprise yourself!
Your inner child is your secret super power. She has an untold story that needs to be heard by you. To hear her truth, sets you both free TO LIVE A HONEST LIFE. Free to explore more of your potential that waiting to emerge.

As your spiritual growth coach, my inner dynamic coaching is designed to help you work with all the different parts of you and connect to your inner child.

I’m ready to help you expose the lies and reveal the truth of who you are, are you?

Credits:

Gemaakt met afbeeldingen van Jen Theodore - "Young woman lies in bed, haunting eyes wide open following a night of insomnia, and ponders what today will bring - more of the same exhaustion, depression and sadness following the separation from her husband?" • Analia Baggiano - "Happy Hand" • Zui Hoang - "Show me the light" • Nicolas Ukrman - "do not stop" • Amir Geshani - "Mirror" • Afif Kusuma - "Asian woman pointing at side" • Elaine Rystead - "Fashionable model in the Joshua Tree desert " • pawel szvmanski - "credit: www.instagram.com/szvmanski" • Talles Alves - "my boo" • Abigail Keenan - "untitled image" • Hello I'm Nik 🎞 - "A quote that couldn’t be truer." • Ana Tavares - "Gratitude Journaling" • Annie Spratt - "Love yourself sign" • Christina @ wocintechchat.com - "untitled image" • Allie Smith - "untitled image" • Lesly Juarez - "“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh" • Sammie Vasquez - "Don’t Look Down"