A part of you is good at either justifying your behaviour or other people’s bad behaviour.
This part of you can be deceptive. On one hand it will provide you with good reasons but on the other hand the reason is very much flawed.
Or this part finds itself making excuses for other people’s bad behaviour because it’s easier than making hard decisions based on the truth.
GET IT OUT AND ON PAPER
Self-growth demands being accountable.
How you feel about a situation, someone or something when left in your head doesn’t have the opportunity to be observed in the most neutral way.
Writing down what you’re feeling about different topics is a good way to process it more clearly.
When you see your thoughts and feelings in black and white on paper, you may come to realize that you’ve been lying to yourself because the feelings that you continue to circulate in your head are either clouded or conflicted.
START using a journal and you will gradually begin to extract what your genuine feelings are beneath the mask that lies above.
REPLACE “YES” WITH “NO” MORE OFTEN
Saying yes seems to come so easily to many of us. Yet how many are really an honest yes?
And if not honest, it means you are lying which often has you doing things you don’t really want to be doing.
By saying things that aren’t true, you essentially betray your inner self as you ignore your real feelings or intentions.
Start taking a 3 – 5 sec pause before jumping in and agreeing to do something.
First ask yourself......
“is this really aligned with who I am and what I want to be doing with my time and energy”?
Like the saying goes, honesty is the best policy. Saying no shows that you possess integrity and that you want to maintain it.
It’s very healthy to steer clear of things you know don’t serve you.
GET A DIFFERENT VIEWPOINT
Figuring out how you really feel about a situation, someone, or something can get tricky as you aren’t always fully aware whether what you are feeling belongs to you or not right?
Spending time alone to examine your thoughts and feelings can actually be difficult. This is because you feel vulnerable with yourself.
However, spending time with those who know you well, accept you, love you, and support you are actually more likely to uncover if and what you’re lying to yourself about.
Start questioning what’s really holding you back from having this level of honesty with yourself.
What are you trying so hard to cover up?
Doing this in a safe space, with someone you trust, it’s such a great way to learn more about yourself. Or get a coach!
In general, you have either a part of you that lies to cover up your own insecurities. This part may like to fake your successes in order to look less like the failures it believes you might be.
Or you have a part that lies by telling you you’re perfect and that you have no reason to change or alter your behavior.
Confidence and self-love are very important, but so is self-acceptance, acceptance of all of who you are, flaws in all.
Time to press the stop button.
Each time you find yourself denying certain things you may not have done very well or lying to yourself about how fantastically something has gone, you harm yourself and self-trust weakens.
It’s time to call upon the curious part of you.
Let this part of you take a moment to question why another part of you feels the need to cover things up so much. Let yourself know that you want to understand yourself better. Create a safe space so that different parts of you can begin to open up to you.
Admit that you are struggling or that you could have done better – it doesn’t make you a bad person!
If anything, being so self-aware and open to improving yourself makes you an even better person.
CATCH YOURSELF IN THE ACT
It’s not always easy to know what you’re lying about. Get into the habit of catching yourself in the act of doing so, it’s important.
Start with just a simple step. Track how many times a day you realize that you’re not being completely honest with yourself. Tune into the energy that you feel around that lie.
Ask yourself “who is this part of me”?
It’s not the time to judge this part of you or its actions. It’s about recognising this part of you that has a habit of lying. Really, it has only good intentions. Acknowledge that and learn what these are.
This tracking will also help you identify how this parts of you gets triggered. For example, you may notice this part lies every time you to talk to your boss or a certain friend.
This can then help you figure out what’s really going on. You can then start to re- educate this part and introduce a new more empowering behaviour that supports self-integrity.
LEAN INTO FEAR (it doesn’t bite!)
Some things just seem fearful, whether that’s admitting that your relationship isn’t going well or realizing that you really don’t like your job anymore.
Being confronted with truths may make you uncomfortable and feeling uncomfortable on some level you might believe is not good. So, your natural instinct is to turn a blind eye.
In this way, you can easily lie to yourself on a daily basis. It makes you feel better about your choices, despite the slight uneasiness you feel when you think of them.
Gemaakt met afbeeldingen van Jen Theodore - "Young woman lies in bed, haunting eyes wide open following a night of insomnia, and ponders what today will bring - more of the same exhaustion, depression and sadness following the separation from her husband?" • Analia Baggiano - "Happy Hand" • Zui Hoang - "Show me the light" • Nicolas Ukrman - "do not stop" • Amir Geshani - "Mirror" • Afif Kusuma - "Asian woman pointing at side" • Elaine Rystead - "Fashionable model in the Joshua Tree desert " • pawel szvmanski - "credit: www.instagram.com/szvmanski" • Talles Alves - "my boo" • Abigail Keenan - "untitled image" • Hello I'm Nik 🎞 - "A quote that couldn’t be truer." • Ana Tavares - "Gratitude Journaling" • Annie Spratt - "Love yourself sign" • Christina @ wocintechchat.com - "untitled image" • Allie Smith - "untitled image" • Lesly Juarez - "“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh" • Sammie Vasquez - "Don’t Look Down"