In the beginning there was light but I wasn't there!😉 In my life I've learned many things about being naturally a genuine person. I was born with extra common sense and I loved my family no matter what! My friends could ask me for anything,which wasn't to much but my loyalty, but that was given ,on my life if needed! All and all everyone in my life love me and respect me for the love I give! Love is a beautiful feeling. There's not a person in the world that does not want to feel loved. So let me tell you about the time the person I loved the most broke my heart. Everybody's raising kids and if you could remember your first child was absolutely tedious! I have finish high school and decided to wait on college. Lord knows why did I do that I should've kept it moving! That's what happens when you don't have someone positive in your corner trying to help you get ahead. I don't have any money so I need to get a job. Back in the 90's factories were hiring any who wanted to work. So I was happy 😊, getting paid $425 (before taxes) every Tuesday . On the weekends I was off ,so I'm partying having a good time at the clubs.
One day one of my cousins introduced me to a pager line where young people meet and talk, or if you feel comfortable enough ,meet up in person! On a day when you have nothing else to do, it was fun! I met plenty of people but one voice I enjoyed our conversations greatly! He was funny ,caring, smart and smooth! We talked for about a couple months, and even sent each other pictures of one another, then decided to meet in person! The awarkardness lasted two minutes, we left had some drinks went to a friends house and went upstairs and ended our sexual frustration 😏. OMG!!!! That's all I have to say about that! So every Wednesday was both of our free day, so we got together and ooh! We both had a clear understanding of the situation. Friends with benefits , no strings, no drama, and total protection!!! Guess what I was young and dumb, and thought I knew everything about sex, but I had no ideal! We used condoms all the time and I never watched him put them on, or did he say they broke! All was good for months, then one day I step into work and vommited everywhere 🤢.DAMN!!!!!!!!! I messed up some how! I was so confused😧, and feeling like my life was over. I'm pregnant by a man whom I don't love and he doesn't love me! We care about each other as friends but that's not enough for having a baby together! So my plan was to end all my problems by an abortion, no one has to know, problem over! My mother,who is a very opinionated woman begged me to change my mind with tears and threats! Taking her words to heart ,I decided to change my mind!
Planning to get ready for my new baby I clean up my room and rearrange furniture and BAM!!!!! On the side of my bed I find like a few unused condoms😳 I felt like a fool, boo boo the fool. My feelings where hurt and I felt used, now I know what I was getting into but I thought at least we were friends enough for him to care about what he knows that I didn't want, and that was a baby!! So when I told him I was pregnant, his response wasn't a shock! Hey man I'm pregnant," oh wow are you sure?" Yes I'm six weeks, really how could that happen? "Maybe one of the condoms busted!" Well you never mentioned that to me.! "Well together we will handle this!" OK! We kept communicating thru the months, the more months the less of him! I had a friend that hung in the same social circles as him and told me he was telling people that my baby wasn't his, also he had a crush on this other girl my friend knew! Which was no problem but don't be a liar! So one day we were talking , I was about seven months, he told me that someone told him that my baby wasn't his! Being a little scary little chump, So I politely said, " You know what, this my baby, mine alone!!" Didn't hear from him til two months after my daughter was born. Asking can he take my baby somewhere upstairs in my apartment building to show her to someone to see if they feel she looks like him! Crazy!🤔
He wasn't there throughout my whole delivery! My best friend, mother, favorite cousin held my hand through the most scariest thing I've ever been through! First my cervix wouldn't open but six centimeters. Then they find out my baby is sunny side up, which can cause damage to head, So I'm rushed to emergency c-section! All goes well, my baby is normal and safe! They stitch me up and send me to recovery! Couple of days go by and I can't kick this fever, it's getting higher and higher! And my incision is bleeding and red! They've taking all kinds of blood until my veins collapse!! Because of this I need a catheter in the main artery closest to my heart! They find out after more blood work that my incision is affected and they have to reopen it and clean it better and let it drain! No time to wait on pain medication so I feel every staple! It was starting to heal so they had to cut a bit, I'm screaming for god! When it's over I sleep all day. Then wake up to the most beautiful face ever and name her after one of the most beautiful things in the world! All the struggle was worth my baby girl! With or without her father, who came to his senses later, she had me and always will!