Recognize that we ALL worry.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you if you worry. Worry is normal and worry can actually be helpful in situations where you are in danger or in need of immediate action.
Many times we can even worry about worrying and get stuck in a vicious cycle of worry that can affect our everyday lives. This is when we hit worry overload! Once worries start to take over your life, that is when it is time to intervene.
The GREAT news is that you CAN tame your worries! Here are some tips on how you can start to battle your worries and fears.
Realize that Thoughts and worries are not Facts
When we get swept up in the worry cycle, we believe that everything in our mind MUST be true. The actual truth of the matter is that thoughts are JUST THOUGHTS. Nothing more!
Humans have 40,000-60,000 thoughts per day. When you feel a worry pop up, ask yourself? Is this a real threat or is this a fire drill?
Identify what IS in your control and what is out of your control
The majority of our worries revolve around things that we simply have zero control over. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it. While we cannot control our environment or other people, we always control our reactions. Look at the circles on the left as a reminder of what is and what is NOT in our control.
write your worries down
Writing your worries down has been scientifically proven to reduce stress and anxiety. Here is how you do it:
- De-Clutter: Grab a journal or a piece of paper and write down EVERYTHING in your mind. Every. Single. Worry. Let it all flow out -- it does not need to make sense or be perfect. Goal is to get it out of your head and onto the paper
- Classify & Trash: Decide which of your worries are IN your control and which are OUT of your control (referenced above). Cross out anything that is out of your control -- rip those ones and throw them out if you want to!
- Recycle: If you have any worries left that are actually IN your control, create a plan of action
- Rest: That took a lot of work! Now it is time to breathe and be in the present moment. See below.
breathe.
One of the best things that you can do to calm your worries down is to simply BREATHE. Breathing helps to calm our bodies which then calms our mind down. There are so many benefits to incorporating an intentional breathing practice into your day. Here are a few to try
Square breathing
4-7-8 Breathing
belly breathing
Let's try one together...
Talk to yourself
Be honest. We all talk to ourselves! The inner dialogue we have in our minds is called self-talk and our self-talk is so important. Many times, we automatically go into negative self-talk mode. When you catch yourself there with a worry, pause, breathe, and replace it with a positive affirmation.
There are a few examples to the left that you can give a try.
sing your worries away
This may sound silly (and you may not believe me!) BUT singing your worries really helps! If you find one particular worry on loop, sing it out. It helps get it out of your mind and it actually helps you to put that worry in perspective.
Added bonus: you usually get a little giggle out of it too ;)
Laugh.
One of the best things you can do to help manage worry is to simply laugh. There are times you may even laugh at some of your worries! Viewing things with a sense of humor really helps you to get a new view on a worry and to let it out. Not to mention, there are so many benefits to laughter. See below for a few of them.
Let's all be more like this guy
Accept that change and the unknown is a part of life
Change can be scary but it is also a very normal part of life. The unknown does usually bring a lot of worry with it. Look to the left to find some great strategies to help cope with change.
There is a term that is called radical acceptance. "Radical acceptance" means completely and totally accepting something from the depths of your soul, with your heart, and your mind. You stop fighting reality. When you stop fighting, you suffer less! Acceptance is magic.
Practice Mindfulness
The majority of our worries revolve around feeling regret over something that happened in the past or being anxious about something that may happen in the future. Practicing mindfulness helps you to bring your awareness to the present moment non-judgmentally.
One way to practice mindfulness is through meditation. If you are unsure on how to start with meditation, the apps Headspace and Calm are offering free services! I like to do the "Daily Calm" on the Calm app each day when I wake up.
Self-care
The most basic and most important thing you can do to manage worry is to take care of yourself. Taking care of your body, mind, and soul is so important in being the best version of yourself. Take a look at the strategies to the right and pick out at least one from each category that helps you.
Special note: one of the best things you can do for yourself is ASK FOR HELP. You are not alone and there is no need to suffer. If you feel like something is wrong, talk to a trusted adult and they will help you! It is OK to not be OK.
Schedule Daily Worry Time
If your worries are interfering with your day, schedule a time each day that you’re going to worry — and only worry during that time. If a worrisome thought comes into your mind, just say to yourself “I’ll worry about this during my worry time at 7 p.m. Set a timer for 20 minutes and let the worries flow into your journal. When the timer goes off, it is time to let go of those worries
You can also craft a worry box! During your worry time, you can write down your worries and place them into the box. Once they are out and in the box, they no longer are welcome in your mind
choose your focus
Sounds cliche but you should always TRY to search for the silver lining of any situation or worry. Instead of endless worrying on "what ifs" or "I wish I..." try... what can I learn from this? What can I do different next time?
CHOOSE to focus on the good. Remember that this world has way more good in it than bad.
Credits:
Created with images by Miguel Bruna - "2018 he we come!" • Bookblock - "Weskin Notebook" • Michelle - "untitled image" • Lee Soo hyun - "untitled image" • Marcela Rogante - "Home" • Luke Chesser - "Young Indian man wearing Apple Watch"