Changed Mothers Day 2016


Reflecting on motherhood this weekend and wanted to put down a few thoughts ... And tinker with Adobe Slate (which, by the way, I am loving!) in this latest blog post.

Some girls grow up dreaming of having and raising a family. They think about how many kids they might have and what those kids might be like, what they might become. But not me. It's not that I didn't think I wanted kids ... I just wasn't entirely sure I was cut out for it. I was pretty, intense, focused, results oriented, loved my work, and was always busy even without a family. Well, needless to say, a lot has changed over the years - especially me and my perception of what being a mom would mean to my life.

Bryce and I have had an amazing time together raising our kids and seeing them grow into amazing teens and young adults.

My take on motherhood is that we have been entrusted with a person - mind, body and spirit - with special gifts and incredible potential, but they are a mystery understood little by little over time. That we have to listen and watch for clues that will reveal their gifts, and help create space and experiences for them to explore and discover what they love and what they will be great at.

So, for me, being a mom meant I had to listen and watch - a lot. To listen for what interested them, what peaked their curious its, what troubled them about the world.

To watch for what inspired them, what demoralized them, when they were most at ease and happiest. And then try to find ways to cultivate that.

Create little adventures along the way ...

And traditions that bind us together and create great memories.

It's like a very long and slow reveal, and you can't rush it or force it in a specific direction. If you were to impose your will on what they should do with their life, they may comply but you would have missed the point. It would be like changing the ending of the story.

When I look at them now - 14, almost 16, and 21 - they are such terrific, original, creative, loyal, and different individuals.

And I am different for having been able to be their mom. How??

In so many ways ... But here are a few that come to mind.

It made me more self-aware. Our kids watch us all the time - whether we realize it or not. They see how we react in tough situations, how we show up in relationships, our tone and point of view.

I have more balance in my life. The fact that we have these amazing kids to raise, that there's a whole other gorgeous part of my life apart from work challenges me to find boundaries between work and personal time for family and friends. Definitely not easy to strike that balance and it's always imperfect with trade offs.

Motherhood brought out the teacher in me. In wanting them to understand the world, I learned to pause and show them things. Find new ways to explain things, new situations.

It showed me the criticality of balancing compassion with discipline. That applies everywhere in life, but with our kids we are especially sensitive to not break their spirit even while correcting them.

My kids would tell you that I'm still intense, and passionate, and active, and those other things that are just uniquely me. But I'm also somehow more ... A little more complete, with more facets, more dimensions.

How has motherhood changed YOU?

Created By
Suzette Valentine
Created with images by Wokandapix - "mother's day mom mother" • Koshyk - "Strange Things Are Happening These Days!" • Unsplash - "baby couple wedding rings" • Dreaming in the deep south - "mothery" • DariuszSankowski - "knowledge book library" • Survivor - "sunset sea nature"

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