Another day, I would think to myself. Another day of staying quiet and holding to myself around the people I believed to have thought of me as a friend. Almost every day of my seventh grade year was the same; remain quiet and everything would be just fine.
I didn’t think much of it then because it had happened to me so often. They would tell me to be quiet or to shut up. They would call me names, make fun of how I acted and the clothes I wore, and pick apart every statement I made. This had happened to me almost every day at lunch and before school started. Sophia was my best friend at the time and Chloey was a close friend also, but she moved and doesn’t live here anymore.
Chloey would always comment, “What are you wearing?” Then snicker at Sophia and they would both start laughing.
One day, I remember vividly, Sophia once acknowledged about my aunt, “That’s good, looks like she isn’t as weird as you are.”
Many times, whenever I tried to talk, Sophia would affirm, “Just shut up.” And she would roll her eyes at me. At that point, I just kept quiet because I felt inferior to them and that I wasn’t allowed to speak. I was afraid to stand up for myself, making me feel as though I had been taken advantage of.
I believe Sophia went along with Chloey’s actions, as she didn’t want to fall victim of her antics as I always had. She was nice to me when we weren’t around Chloey; but, Chloey was nice to me when we weren’t around Sophia.
As the year went on, I became more and more aware of how rude my friends were to me and grew a steady resentment towards them. I began to ask myself, Is this how friends are supposed to treat one another? Are these the type of people that I want to surround myself with? I didn’t want to be their friend any longer and I wished they would just leave me alone and let me be. I wished I had never met them in the first place. Eventually, I made the decision to cut myself from them.
I started to hang out with another friend and her peers of whom I wasn’t as close with. I’m sure Sophia and Chloey talked about me behind my back while I stayed with my other friend, because I always caught them looking at me and giving me dirty looks. I felt at times that I was the person who had committed the wrong in the situation. I would force myself to believe that what I did was right, and that it was them who had caused the problem.
As the days went on, I slowly began to notice at lunch how Chloey had no one else to sit with. Sophia had started to sit with other friends, leaving Chloey by herself. I felt different not hanging out with my old friends. I felt I didn’t belong with the new people I had been sitting with, they weren’t ever mean to me, we were just two different friend groups.
One day, while waiting in the morning for the bus, I brought up to Sophia how I felt when her and Chloey made fun of and laughed at me. She said she would try to fix her ways and so I forgave her. I started to sit and talk with Chloey again too, because I knew she needed me. I believed that the way she treated me was how she treated everyone she was close with. I needed her also, since she was one of my good friends.
Sophia and Chloey were the only people of whom I was really close and could connect the most with. I didn’t realize that at the time, because they had always treated me poorly. But, now I know they were both like that because of how good of friends we all were. I know they cared about me because if they didn’t, they wouldn’t of made an effort to always look back at and give me dirty looks while I stayed with my other friend.
After this experience, I learned that sometimes, the most important part of a friendship is learning to forgive.