LEARN TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH THE UNCOMFORTABLE" -Jillian Michaels
Any journey one often has its highs and lows, but it often ends on a high. At that point you move on to the next phase of life. The built up anticipation finally reaches reality making you feel like you're on cloud 9 . If you choose wisely, there should be plenty of moments throughout the journey that stretch you into a new, fuller version of yourself.
Welcome to my story, where I defy my limits and embrace challenges that alter my prior notions, ideas, and beliefs.
I understand and accept the risks. I hope you do, too.
I often see myself as a go with the flow kind of person, but so far this experience has tried and tested every need I have for control. Almost every logistical issue you could think of, has happened to me. Fortunately every logistical issue was also resolved. That was after it instilled fear and dread within my soul. Most of the logistical disruptions were not something I could fix, and I instead was only able to trust and wait. After everything I had gone through, I had invested an enormous amount of energy and time into going into making it work. Only one questioned remained: will Scotland be worth it?
But as I was on my way to the airport that question of worth swirled around my head, where I was left with nothing but fear. I tried to soothe myself but my nerves were out of control.Every insecurity and concern that I had heard the past four months came to the forefront of my mind. I was confident that I wanted this, but I suddenly was unsure if I wanted everything that came with it. The reality of what was to come was about to paralyzed me. I was about to leave every single soul that I knew back in the States and somehow build a new life in Scotland. I would put myself through loneliness, culture shock, reentry shock and savings depletion all for an opportunity. Again I asked myself, will it be worth it?
Prior to leaving, I talked about Scotland with confidence. I was not afraid about going by myself or being in another country. I could imagine the infinite possibilities that would arise once I stepped of the plane. From backpacking across Europe to engaging with people of new perspective. This was a dream come true and despite all the doubts and concerns people had around me, I was determined to achieve greatness. This was chance, an opportunity restart my life. I was ready for something new and different. West Palm has been good, but I needed to get away and make sure that I who I was there would not be who defined me for the rest of my life. I craved something bigger and reputable and the University of Edinburgh provided that. This would provide growth in my life as it would force more responsibilities in my life and challenge my priorities and values. I would no longer be in this safe, comfortable arena, but instead thrown to the wolves where I would be forced to fight for life.
Despite the initial confidence, when it came time to leave my taxi, it took every single ounce of courage that I lad left to leave that safe, warm car. I was reminded of the quote"With change, come growing pains"... and once you realize that, becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable is a little be easier. Not every change is good one, and so with that you must constantly be reflective. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if I was addicted to change.
I have a lot to loose if it dont change