It’s not just that simple though, to see Stacie like that is to only look at the surface and admire the beautiful cover without thinking the book is worthwhile to really read. It’s looking at that flower in the wind and not understanding the strength that lets it remain in place.
Stacie is a fighter, she has always been a fighter. It’s not without reason that her blog is called ‘Life is worth the fight’. I think people can see the huge smile and think that it’s naivety that see’s her through but that’s massively incorrect. Stacie knows exactly what she faces and is emotionally intelligent enough to know every risk that faces her. She’s scared of it too but she meets every challenge head on and defies the odds stacked against her. She just does it smiling and laughing most of the time.
What people don't see are the times she has to battle through the pain. They see her meet the physical pain but I witness her when she repeats over and over again ‘you can do this!’ She fights off the emotional fear and moves closer to her target. She shows me what it means to be strong.
I’m not a consultant, or a surgeon and I certainly wouldn't want to be. I can take a lifetime deciding if a shirt is worth buying or not, life and death decisions are not for me. It’s a horrible position to have to be in and to think that they are ‘playing God’ is to imagine there is enjoyment to be had in having to decide someones fate. In truth we all want the same thing, we just want the best for the person we love or care for.
I can sense that the audience I meant for this piece is shifting. As always I am looking for advice and a sounding board for my concerns, yet I feel myself almost speaking to the consultants through my words. Maybe my worries and thoughts should be directed elsewhere?
What is the ‘best outcome’ for Stacie? The phrase doesn’t allude to what the possible outcomes are. To myself, Stacie and family the ‘best outcome’ would be having Stacie grow to a happy old age and passing on her spirit to others in person. She would die peacefully in her bed on her 100th birthday having read the message in the card sent by King George.
That’s not going to be the case, but I’m not clear on the statistics being looked at. In Stacie’s world statistics are fairly meaningless given her fearless nature to life. She operates in a binary world where the only outcomes from an operation are that she will either live or die. She accepts that totally and fights for the slimmest chance of survival.
You take that further and any operation, regardless of risk, offers the potential for life. To remove Stacie from the transplant list also removes the potential of life. To Stacie the ‘best outcome’ is the one where life remains a possibility. Light still not extinguished and opportunity for the flower to continue growing.
That brings us onto ‘quality of life’ and of course that just equates to Stacie being happy and able to share the laughter she brings to any conversation. Her quality of life is mixed up in her fighting nature. It’s about showing everyone how you can fight life and its myriad of problems with a smile on your face. Remove the opponent, get rid of the fight and you may just remove the very part of Stacie that keeps her inspiring others. It scares me.