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Magic is here 3:00 a.m thoughts

RAGE Is what I'm feeling at 3:00 a.m on a Monday night. My mind wants to dream of a world where black bodies aren't piled up on concrete. Instead I sit here. blood boiling, thinking of all the black children being ripped from their mothers arms, All the black boys being stolen of their youth, All the black women that are waiting for their hearts to be torn out of their chests. How do we do it? How do we Smile when America is giving us every reason to bring out our claws and our fangs? How long are we going to live like strangers in our own home? I want to know what we've done to deserve this? Why is everyone so afraid of our fire? I've come to realize that America wants to take out what they know they can't control. Black Excellence. They know that if they give a black man a pen he will outshine everything they hope to be, because even when every bullet is making a home out of us, we still prosper. America doesn't understand that the more black bodies they put to rest, more of us will rise up demanding the justice we rightfully deserve.

Its crazy how pride can ruin lives. How one man can deem himself superior because of his pigment. It's frighting. People see men with badges and automatically think they're saints. The blood on their hands become invisible. The state murders black children and we are forced to smile through our pain. They warned us not to show signs of weakness to our oppressors, but for how long can we lie through our teeth? Its all becoming a routine. Racism is an issue that will not end unless its addressed. I WILL SCREAM EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY, THAT REVERSE RACISM DOES NOT EXIST!!! Once again those who deem themselves superior (white folk) want to find an excuse to victimize themselves when they're put into a corner.

Women are a big influence in the black community. Many of us don't understand the struggle WOC face everyday. Mothers fear for their children's lives, sisters fear for their brothers lives, daughters fear for their fathers lives. The fright instilled our heart by white supremacists is a battle in itself, but we still rise. We still nurture this nation after everything its done to us. I've realized that the same men we fight for, the same men we bleed for are the ones turning their back towards us. Its sad how we put all our blood and sweat into standing up for our black men and some still have the nerve to ridicule us. But we wont stop. We do this so the generations after us wont be living in fear every day of their lives. We do this so we wont have to bury our sons every time the sun rises. We do this so our lives will be valued just as any other life. We don't expect thanks or gratitude. We expect change, even if we have to die for it.

I never understood why white people felt the need to say the N word. Do they still want to feel some type of entitlement over us? Do they want to reminisce on the years of slavery, when black bodies were being lynched, burned, whipped, hung, beaten, stoned, sold, the list goes on. This Brings back memories of a former friend who kept using this derogatory term around me, and when i confronted her and asked her kindly to stop saying it, she told me that she was ''raised in Brooklyn". I looked at her confused as to how this justifies anything. I don't care if Black people use this among themselves. they endured pain and suffrage with this word. they have every right to reclaim it. Why would anyone other than Black folk want to say it? I still fail to understand.

Don't dehumanize us and expect silence. Don't kill us and expect silence. Expect rage. Expect strength. Expect a fire strong enough to burn all the trees in your forests. No, we will not stop our marches, we will not stop our protests, we will not stop this fight until we see a change. Enough is enough. We will grow, and prosper. Black excellence will never end, but racism will.

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