I was six, still innocent, my life still all rainbows and sunshine until I got home. Home was empty, that was my dead end at the end of my road of happiness and I was met with a rain cloud that would forever hang over my head reminding me that life isn't that great after all. Met at the hosiptal by bloodshot eyed parents. I was told that my sister was in a diabetic coma. Those words didn't quite register in my head so when my younger sister didn't answer me calling her name you can image my sadness. Everything around me suddenly slowed down when I finally realized she's dying.
Phebe Guido (4 years old)
Going to school was a paniful process, I couldn't think about school all I could think was that my four year old sister is dying. Things went by me without me noticing or caring. Soon enough I was moving into a hotel with my siblings and grandparents. I was finally going to be closer to the hosiptal and more importantly closer to Phebe at last. As predicted by everyone I spent all my time at the hosiptal, next to her. As the days continued to pass by Phebe's condition got worse and worse.
I would drag my small, fragile body up to the eight floor of the hosiptal. Everyday she would have more and more tubes and wires just to keep her alive. I no longer cared about school, In my head it wasn't important amymore. The only important thing in my life at that moment was my sister and her condition. I did the same thing everyday, I would go to school and sleep the entire time, then I was off to the hospital to sit with my sister until the late night. At nighttime I would go back to my small hotel room I shared with many people and think all night " was that the last time I was going to see her?"
I honestly didn't care if I had to do the same grade over and over, as long as I got to see my sister still alive my life was complete. Just thinking about her made me smile but as I walked into her room she wasn't there. Her room was cleared of any signs of her ever being there. My heart dropped and my smile was dead, it was as if someone had drawn my smile in pen and decided that they didn't like it and whited it out, not a trace it was ever there. The doctors moved her into a different room time and time again as her condition continued to worsen. So when I didn't find her in her room I didn't freak out, not knowing it was the one time I should have freaked out. When I found her room I also found a doctor telling my parents " Hope for the best, expect the worst." and then I heard the sound I have been dreading since my sister got into the hosiptal. I heard a long beep as I completly broke down in the middle of the hallway thinking only one thing, my sister was dead.
I was never big on crying in front of people but in this moment the only reason I didn't cry was because I simply had no tears left. I was broken inside and out, I felt my heart break as I collasped on the floor. As for being broken on the outside I had been since my sister went into the hospital. I had no energy and my eyes were bloodshot and I had huge bags under my eyes. Everyone knew I was broken they just didn't know me enough to care. I was so caught up in how broken I felt I didn't even notice all the screaming until I was being told I should leave and come back some other time. As I was being pushed towards the elevator I heard the faint sound of beeping and I screamed in pure joy. I was so numb with happiness at the mere thought that my sister may be alive afterall.
When I came back the next day after ignoring everything in school I was reassured that my sister was alive, I just couldn't see her. She was in such bad condition that my parents didn't want my siblings or I in the room. My grades were slowly slipping away, not that I cared the least bit. When I was finally able to see my sister again I jumped in joy. I went straight to her side and hugged her careful of all the tubes and wires. I then noticed how cold it was in the room so I went and got Phebe's favorite blanket. It was a fluffy pink blanket with different colored hearts all over it. When I took off the hosiptal blanket I screamed, my sister had one leg. There was nothing wrong with her having one leg I just screamed because my six year old self was disgusted with the doctors for taking her leg for what looked like to me no reason. I mean that was my sister and I expected her to leave the hospital with all the limbs she came in with. After being told that it needed to happen because she had a blood cot in her leg which made it turn black and having it explained more then once I started to understand and I calmed down and went back in the room. I touched her stump softly and put the blanket on her then I went back to the hotel.
After Phebe finally came home she couldn't even hold up her head, it took me and her worker that came to our house everyday a long time but she finally started using sign language. I'll never forget the day she signed her first sign which was "water". From that day weather I realised it or not I always follow that doctors words. "Hope for the best, expect the worst." It gives me hope and no disappointment.