Inner Critic: My inner critic came out when I got a 69 on my second test in ENGR 1410. Once I go the results back, I was instantly mad at myself. Even though I had studied a lot for this test, I still had received a D. I, then, started to beat myself up over it. I'm asking myself why was I so stupid. Why was no matter how much I studied effective. I am just hearing that I'm not as smart as the other kids in my class. I just keep telling myself that and I am just really beating myself up about this. I could of changed these thoughts by asking myself some questions like did I study differently. Did I study in a different place? Did I study effectively? If I would of thought about these things at first, I would of been using my inner guide instead of inner critic.
Inner Defender: My inner defender actually came out right after my inner critic stopped for my second test in ENGR 1410. I am telling myself that if my professor didn't teach so fast that maybe I would actually be able to learn in the class. I am telling myself that if he actually worked out real problems in class and gave a chance to understand them that I would be able to get an understanding as to what I can do. I am telling myself that if he gave us more practice problems in class that I could of know what to expect. I am just overall blaming my professor all together for my failure. I could start turning these negative thoughts into inner guide thoughts by asking is there something that I needed to do that I haven't been doing. Do I actually have to read the textbook before class to understand it? Should I be going to the UTA hours more? Should I start going to office hours to get a personal experience with my professor? Theses types of questions would of helped me in this moment.
Inner Guide: My inner guide has come out when I got the results for my first math test back. I am looking at what I got and seeing why I earned that grade. I look at the mistakes I made and I am asking myself what I could do differently next time. What kinds of mistakes did I make? Were they math mistakes or notation mistakes? I am noticing that I made many notation errors that resulted me to lose a ton of points on my test. By using this method of figuring out what I did wrong for my test, I was able to keep myself calm and not make myself sad. I was able to solve the issue that I had very quickly and effectively rather than it taking forever because of blaming someone else. This method was by far the most effective to solve my issues.
So after noticing times when all of these types of reactions to things, I actually noticed that now I actually have my inner guide come out a lot quicker than the other types. I am very happy that this happens now because last semester, I had my inner defender come out a lot more than the other two and look where it is gotten me. It has just gotten me on academic probation and I'm now about to lose my LIFE scholarship because of it. Now using my inner guide a lot more, I am able to actually improve on my bad habits and not just sit back and do the exact same things and blame my professors for my failure. Also, in my opinion, using the inner guide instead of the other two is the most mature things to do. When using the other two, you're either wanting self-pity or you're blaming another person for your failures when you're the one who is making the mistakes and the one who is not doing what is needed to make things better. I am so happy that this semester I am using my inner guide because it has resulted in much better grades for myself. I am actually making the improvements needed to actually improve my grades and my grades have truly reflected this. After making this improvement, I now have mainly B's as opposed to my highest grade last semester being a C. I am very proud of myself every time I use my inner guide as opposed to my inner critic or my inner defender. It always feels good when you don't stress yourself out for no reason when you shouldn't have to.