Have you completed the first five modules? Click on the links below to access Module 1, Module 2, Module 3, Module 4, or Module 5
Communication and Conflict
This module will explore what clear, effective communication looks like and provide some models of conflict resolution that will support leaders and their teams in managing conflict well. This material can be used as both a learning tool and as a resource to refer to at the time of working through confict.
Clear communication is essential to effective leadership. "You cannot be a poor communicator and a good leader." (Blackaby and Blackaby, Spiritual Leadership: Moving People onto God's Agenda, 2011, p.116) Keeping everyone on the same page, aligned to the organisations mission, embodying its values and working towards filling its vision is simply not be possible without it.
As people interact and communicate with each other, conflict becomes unavoidable. Each of us have different propensities and abilities to manage conflict. Yet conflict is not always a bad thing and can lead to healthy change and rich ideas when managed well. While clear communication and sound conflict resolution practices are obviously not unrelated, lets take a look at each of them in turn.
Clear Communication
Clear communication requires something of the sender and the receiver. It is not a passive, but active, process of trying to understand and trying to be understood. "The single biggest problem in communication," claimed George Bernard Shaw, "is the illusion that it has taken place." Good communication settles for nothing short of clarity for all involved. This 4-minute video on clarity in communicating is great food for thought:
- How often has a lack of clarity impacted you as a follower or leader?
- How might you better manage both sides of the conversation?
There are various models of the communication process. The model below is probably how most people think of communication, at best. It is fascinating how little we think and talk about something as fundamental as communication.
Seeing communication as a more dynamic process of encoding and decoding messages, rather than a one way 'broadcasting' of information, leads to a more accurate model of what is happening. Here, both sender and receiver are co-creators of meaning. Although increasingly complex, the transaction model of communication provides an even more accurate, detailed account of the communication process.
In the context of a crisis or otherwise challenging change, it is worth considering not just the means but the content of what we are (and are not!) communicating–both in terms of the the questions we are asking and the conversations we are inviting. By this, I refer to being more intentional about asking people how the are coping, and employing an 'open door policy' where you are approachable to followers and they can drive the conversation. Don't underestimate the importance of being available as a leader; especially during times of uncertainty and instability. It can lead to some incredible conversations that advance relationships exponentially, as well as better missional outcomes.
The following video uses the metaphor of a recipe, claiming clarity, brevity, context, impact and value to be the ingredients of good communication:
- How do you determine which of these ingredients can take lesser priority? What would a helpful sixth ingredient be?
- What does the recipe call for, as far as quanitites of each ingredient, in your context right now?
There are many other factors in communicating clearly, which are beyond the scope of this module. It is worth thinking about other factors, such as:
- context
- the language used
- our cultures and sub-cultures
- the medium/channel and its etiquette
- content and its emotional tone
- physical/virtual location
- speed/quality of verbal communication
- subjective perception of receiver/s
- information density
- mixed messaging
- integrity/transparency of the communicator
- emotional and social intelligence
- maturity of all parties
As our awareness of these things increases, so does our capacity to communicate more effectively. This is important at the best of times, but especially in a rapidly changing context, times of uncertainty and the more challenging moments of interpersonal conflict.
Conflict Resolution
Where there are people, there will be conflict. Conflict resolution does not presume the goal in managing conflict is its swift elimination, but rather seeks to deal with conflict in a way that produces more satisfying outcomes, where everyone feels heard and respected, where wrongs can be righted, and where more creative problem-solving can occur.
Friends become wiser together through a healthy clash of viewpoints. – Tim Keller
Conflict can be a good thing in driving much-needed change. Think of how Jesus exemplified this in his leadership, by challenging the socio-political evils of his day, including the excluded, and loving the 'unlovable.' Causing (non-violent) conflict to reduce (violent) conflict is commendable. Sometimes this is done on the largest stages of life. Other times, in the quiet confines of our offices and homes. And sometimes it is simply a matter of resolving disagreements of a more amicable nature.
Looking beyond the surface level to the heart of the matter opens up a world of possibilities. This is typically true regardless of the context. Managing conflict online, however, presents different challenges than are present in face-to-face, real-time conversations. Wade Foster, CEO at Zapier, believes "conflict and dissent are critical elements to going faster, farther and better." With both face-to-face and online conflict, the rewards usually outweigh the investment, making healthy conflict a worthwhile endeavour. You can find some helpful thoughts to on dealing with conflict when working remotely here.
While how we are likely to respond to conflict is a largely innate experience, it is equally a skill that can be developed. Enhancing a healthy self-awareness and managing it well is crucial. Watch the following 3-minute video and consider how you feel about conflict, and why.
- How might you systematically work through conflict in a healthy way?
- Who can provide mediation for you when necessary, and how do you know when it's time to involve them?
Conflict Resolution Models
Let's take a look at some models of conflict resolution. As you go, think about how they apply to conflict, in general, but also how our changing world and crises create new challenges. Consider how can you manage this conflict in ways that lead to more robust relationships and satisfying outcomes.
Most of the following models are taken from Gary Furlong's The Conflict Resolution Toolbox, which would provide an excellent resource for those who are interested in furthering their practical knowledge around managing conflict.
The Circle of Conflict
The Circle of Conflict is a model that diagnoses and categorises the underlying causes or “drivers” of conflict. It categorises these causes and drivers into one of five categories: Values, Relationships, Moods/Externals, Data and Structure. The sixth category, Interests, represents the focus for resolution.
- G Furlong ,The Conflict Resolution Toolbox, p.21
This model suggests we need to look 'below the line' to the data, structure and (especially) interests of each party. We typically cannot solve all elements of a conflict (especially not values, relationships, moods and external issues). Nor do we have the time to if we could.
So focus on:
- the data (i.e. the facts, and each party's interpretation of them)
- the structure of the conflict (things such as limited physical resources, like time and money; authority issues; geographical constraints; organisational structures, etc)
- the interests of each party (what they want) - we can 'cut to the chase' and start to think about and work towards what good resolution of the conflict might look like
By focussing on common interests, both parties are able to work towards a mutually agreeable outcome.
The Triangle of Satisfaction
This model views conflict through three lenses.
The great thing about this model is it recognises the impact conflict has on people, allowing for more people-oriented or pastoral considerations in conflict resolution. Think back to the different styles of leadership in Module 3 – this opens up some great ways to care for people and go a little deeper in seeing and caring for followers. This can lead to more creative ways to approach the process of managing the conflict, including a variety of relational possibilities also, as we dig down into what is really at play. Often the apparent issues of conflict are only the latest episode in an ongoing drama! While we do not want to too-readily discount what is going on beneath the surface, out of sight, it is important to keep in mind there really might not be anything more to it than what meets the eye also.
Sometimes a more caring, pastoral response is required. Other times a more pragmatic approach is helpful. Part of the art of leadership is about knowing which approach to take when, and not easily answered. That is not to say you might not borrow from each model throughout different parts of the conflict, but it is important to recognise the tensions between approaches.
Interests/Rights/Power Model
“This model is a foundational framework used in the conflict resolution field. In many ways, it underpins the entire field of conflict resolution and negotiation." – G Furlong ,The Conflict Resolution Toolbox, p.109
As the name suggests, this model conceives of conflict as fitting into one of three categories: interests, rights or power.
- Interest-based Processes: Interests refer to the parties wants, needs, hopes, and fears. Interest-based approaches are wanting to be more consensual. They succeed when both parties get enough of their interests met to agree on the solution. (Win-Win)
- Rights-based Processes: This approach sees parties trying to assert dominance over the other party’s rights. These come from sources such as laws, past practices, policies, contracts, etc. Rights-based processes tend to be adversarial, focusing on promoting one's own rights and/or minimising and de-legitimising the others. (Win-Lose)
- Power-based Processes: This approach finds parties using all the resources they have at their disposal against the other party in an attempt to win. Typically, power-based processes are highly adversarial, and are sometimes applied in spite of the rights of the parties. (Lose-Lose, although some times Win-Lose)
– G Furlong ,The Conflict Resolution Toolbox, p.110
This understanding of conflict is especially helpful in diagnosing conflict. Try to identify which party is using which approach in considering how other conflict resolution models might be utilised.
The Social Style Model
The Social Style Model of conflict resolution is a great tool for self-critique. Take a minute to locate yourself on the vertical and horizonal axis.
- Does the social type (Analytical, Driver, Amidable, Expressive) on those two axes describe your default towards resolving conflict?
- What can you learn from the other types of conflict resolution?
"“An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Moving Beyond Conflict
The Moving Beyond Conflict model presents a simple idea – conflict is distruptive by nature. It affects us. As it threatens the status quo, we struggle to come to terms with the change; we then react to it, and are finally forced to accept it.
One of the main barriers to healthy conflict resolution comes when people can't let the conflict go and move on with their lives. A dispute can become such an important part of an individual's life that they will not allow it to end. It feels as if something important is being lost if moving on. This is very similar to the process of grieving, and the Moving Beyond Conflict Model helps identify the stages or steps parties often must go through in order to let it go and move beyond it.
The following video presents some good general advice around communication and dealing with conflict. Watching something like this in a team meeting could not only outline some helpful ground rules, but commence a conversation around expectations when it comes to communication and conflict!?
Reframing
How we frame a conversation impacts how we are heard. It is possible, however, to reframe a conversation containing conflict in a way that can be more readily accepted. Watch the following video to see how the "3-2-1" perspective influences the message being received.
- How do you instinctively frame a conversation containing conflict?
- What information do you need before you are able to reframe a conversation in a way that will be better heard?
There are many other ways to conceive of and conduct conversations that contain conflict, as there also are in improving your communication skills. It is hoped that the content presented above sparks some simple yet helpful ways forward and a place to start in working more effectively together as a team.
Continuing the Conversation
Communicating effectively, and conducting healthy conversations that often involve conflict, takes courage. We put ourselves out there, as leaders, often feeling very vulnerable, worried about how we will be perceived.
The wonderful thing about good communication, as we have seen however, is that it is a relational activity that invites others into the leadership space. We do not have to have all the answers. Rather, we find ourselves empowered to develop a culture of collaboration, build stronger bonds as a team, faciliatate better knowledge management and enhance high-quality decision making. (Kalliath et al, Organisational Behaviour: A Psychological Perspective, 2009, p. 446). Good leadership is about rising to the challenge; of bravely embarking on a journey with others, where we seek to serve those entrusted to our care, as we fulfill our mission.
In closing, we have seen how effective communication and the healthy resolution of conflict are necessary elements of good team leadership. Let me encourage you to bring them into the light. Communicate about the importance of good communication; make it explicit! And don't be afraid to have frank conversations with your team about conflict, its value and how you can manage it effectively together. These things do take time and effort, but the investment soon reaps rewards.
On behalf of everyone involved in putting this short leadership course together, thank you for taking the time to invest in your own leadership development. We hope you have enjoyed the journey and grown in your confidence and ability to lead effectively in a changing world. May God bless you and be with you!