Welcome to my page where i will be exploring and researching on topics I've always have been curious about but never heard or been discussed due to uncomfortably and judgements. Names and interviews I included will all be anonymous and discreet. Will not ever publish personal stories from people besides me. This is mostly more of journal entry but who knows it can change! Hope what I write helps others to be more open and understanding of people.Hope you enjoy and be curious to always tune in.
I am a low income person with a low income family. I am the first generation in canada, most of my family and parents are from Srilanka and stuck in their Srilankan ways and won't blend into this society. It this claw i had to explore and learn things myself. It has been a journey, struggle, toxic within mind and scary along it's way. Yet, I'm still young and have way more in life to figure out. I have so much accomplished that most of people my age haven't even experience and done and I am blessed for that.
As for my family who follow certain rules and have been grown up in a complete different society it is hard to do and be anything. Tho, one this that puzzles me is how they express their love. Now my parents have never said I love you, or even know if there is an actual phrase for that. I only ever had two relationships in my life and I have been scared to ever say or even know love. I had heart breaks and said I like you but still nothing even when i say love. I wanted to search and find out what other first generation kids think.
After a few conversations I stubbled on one person who i really connected with. Sarah Smith was in the same spot as me, with her family feeling the exact same way. She said " i totally get it and feel it. I've been with my boyfriend for a couple of years and I feel like saying I like you is way more meaningful for me. Love is non existence or a phrase that i heard in movies". I discussed coming to a reasoning that maybe it is from our family. She is not caucasian but exotic i would say. Our communication from our families are different. Never sharing stories on our personal life just typical school and random issues. Never stuff you would like to bond on with you parents. I would love to talk to my mom and relationship, dates, school, people and other issues but it just can't happen. They never get it.
In conclusion, I think i can try to express myself but would more be a shock and typical answer. Nothing raw. I know my mom loves me with out saying it. Yet it is better to hear it. Time can tell and I guess i have to learn it myself in life. Which is good because I can help people with it. I'll feel it and know I guess.