Where i've been to, penelope and telemachus

After the war at Troy, somehow all my men made it home except me and the ones on my ship. I found myself at Ismaros, on the fzar shore of the cicones. Here an army trained to fight on horseback came at us like mad men. I ordered all my men to get back on the ship and away we went.
I might have made it home safely after the cicones but the Malea current took me out to sea and a strong wind pushed me past Cythera. Now i have found myself at the lotus eaters. There were these weird flowers and if you ate them, they made you forget what you were going to do. I had to tie the ones who ate the flower to the benches of our boat. We then headed back out to sea.

We set sail and came upon an island. On this island was a giant cave, it had cheese and a fire, so we made ourselves comfortable and waited for them to come. Turns out it was a giant cyclops. He trapped us in his cave so i had to figure out a way to go us out. I told him my name was "no one" we took a giant log and sharpened it, then drove it right through his eye. Screaming in pain he ripped open the door and screamed to his brothers no one has hurt me, obviously they didn't come because i out smarted him. We managed to escape and set sail for home.

I came across this small island and met the wind god. He gave us a wind that would push us towards home.
Next up the Laestrygonians. Man were these things crazy. They were giant cannibals that ate all of the other ships but mine. I don't know how we survived. Maybe its cause i was just too good for them.
Now i have found myself with a woman named circe. it seemed like i was only there for a couple of days, but the time is slowed down inside the walls of her house. I was there for several seasons, she turned all my men in to animals using a special drink. Thanks to Hermes she was unable to turn me into an animal. He told me to eat a special herb that would make the drink not work.

Thanks to circe, i am now at the land of the dead. She told me that Teiresias could help me get back to Ithaca. I had to sacrifice my best heifer and promise to kill one of my lambs, the black one handsomest of all our flock. He told me that i cannot kill any of the sun gods cattle, or else all my men will die.

The sirens were actually very cool. I had to have my men tie me up to a post and put bees wax in all their ears. their singing would have drawn all of us onto their island.

Charybdis was a crazy monster. This thing would have killed all of us. Not even the god who makes the earth tremble could stop this thing. We had to hug the cliff of scylla just so we wouldn't get trapped in the whirlpool.

Scylla was a huge monster. She had twelve legs more like tentacles, each with serpent like heads, with triple serried rows of fangs and deep gullets of black death. She would hunt the sea right outside her den for anything, dolphins, dog fish, and humans
Next up we have the island of the sun god, Thrinakia. Here there were loads of giant meat filled cattle. The problem is we couldn't eat any of them because we will all be killed if we did.
Up next is calypso, i was there for a little while. She tried to get me to stay, she offered to make me immortal and stay with her instead of coming back to you. She was very confused as to why i wanted to leave so bad, she didnt know why i wanted you Penelope, instead of her.
My last stop before home, Phaeachia. I was stopped on an island by a young woman, who was actually Athena. she put a mist on me and it mad it so the paeacians from harassing me.

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