First of all, I want to let you know that I know what it feels like to have a mental illness. And NO, I'm not just saying it like apparently the other morons in my grade, I've been diagnosed. Mental Illness is the definition of hell. Not only do others not understand, but it never gets better. You take a million different pills and go to a million doctors, but no that doesn't help. And by the way doctors are phonies, I know they are only in it for my money. It kills me every time they ask "How are you feeling Holden?," like they actually care. Doctors are annoying as hell, especially when you've been to every one in the entire state. It kills me every time I get one good moment because I know that it's only a matter of time before the sadness and all comes back. Also, how goddamn pathetic that I rely on pills to keep me mentally sane. What a way to live! Every single person in the world says, "Stop complaining, get out of your head, it could be worse." You know what? It couldn't be worse. Imagine feeling the most lousy you ever have with no way out. I really mean it when I say being mentally ill is the worst thing you could ever be. I'm not kidding, I really feel like killing myself would be easier than dealing with this depression and stuff. You know what? Mental Illness is actually a billion times worse than hell.