Agree/Disagree/Unsure
It is sometimes okay for a person to make decisions for the person they are dating on who they hang out with, what they do with their social/personal time, and where they go.
- Why might someone tell their partner they cannot do something?
- Are controlling behaviors part of healthy relationships? Why or why not?
- How could this behavior affect their relationship with friends, family and others?
- How do unhealthy relationships start? What types of behavior do we see first?
Scenario
Your friend constantly sends text messages to their partner, asking where they are, who they are with, and what they are doing. This isn't just friendly chat; you get the feeling that they are obsessed and jealous, and always needs to know their partner's every move.
Why might someone send texts asking where a person is, who they are with, and what they are doing?
Why might someone believe it's acceptable to treat someone like this?
How does your friend probably feel when they send these messages all day/night long?
Would some people not have a problem with this behavior in a dating relationship? Why?
Do you think what is happening could be a form of abuse or harassment? In what way?
If this behavior goes unchecked, what could happen next?
Is this situation realistic? Could this happen within our school or surrounding community?
What’s problematic about this situation? What concerns or “red flags” do you notice in this scenario?
Have you ever witnessed or observed a similar situation? If you are willing, please share your experience(s).
What responsibility might you have in this situation to the person(s) being targeted? To the person causing the potential harm or abuse? To your school? To yourself?
Have you ever observed someone intervene or get involved in a similar situation before? If so, what did they do? What was the outcome?
Why might an observer in this situation choose to be silent or not get involved? What’s the potential IMPACT to those involved here if no one intervenes or disrupts this situation?
Give examples of how a friend or classmate might respond “directly” in this situation? How might someone respond utilizing a “distraction” in this situation?
If you didn’t intervene or respond immediately in this situation, what might you consider saying or doing later?
To whom could you go to for help? What additional resources might be needed?
Which of the examples shared thus far would you most likely use in a situation like this? Why?
LET'S TALK IT OUT ~ HOW CAN WE ENGAGE?
• Direct – Respond directly with words or deed to the aggressor or victim --- or both.
• Protocol – Report, inform or advise to person in charge, authority figure, supervisor, etc.
• Indirect/Distraction – “Shift the focus,” use humor, tell a story, current events, weekend plans, etc.
• After the Fact/Next Day – Return later when things calm down. Check in. Let the person know you care about them.
• With an Ally or Friend – Recognize another peer’s disapproval of the situation, act together.
Do nothing. It's none of your business.
Tell my friend that I'm concerned about their jealousy, and that they need to chill out a bit and give their partner some space.
Talk to some of our friends, let them know what I've observed, and ask them if they have concerns about the relationship.
Talk to my parent, or a teacher or coach that I trust, and ask them for advice about what to do.
Tell my friend that they should consider seeing a counselor or another professional because their behavior seems unhealthy and could get them in trouble.
Personal option...?