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101 Tips for a Happier Marriage Session 2: Improve Your Marriage Without Drama (Tips 25-46)

Discussion Questions

1. What are the best and the worst times to have a serious discussion? Are you and your spouse on the same page with this? (Tip 26)

2. How do you react when your spouse is in a bad mood? Do you try to make him or her feel better? Do you get angry along with the other person? Is your mood brought down, or do you lift his or her mood up? What are some ideas for the best way to cheer your spouse? What works best to cheer you up? (Tip 31)

3. Raise your hand if you’re a listener. Raise your hand if you’re a talker. What about your spouse? Are you compatible, or are you both the same? In either case, what can you do to improve your skills at whichever area you’re lacking? (Tip 33)

4. Brainstorm ideas for simple ways you can serve your spouse daily. (Tip 35)

5. Have you ever witnessed someone speaking poorly of his or her spouse in public? How did it make you feel? What are things you can say or do in those situations to casually, kindly get the person to stop? (Tip 37)

6. Which do you think is better: For spouses to divide household chores 50/50, or for each person to just do whatever tasks come naturally? Are you and your spouse concerned about fairness? Should you be? (Tip 40)

7. What are some creative ways to thank your spouse for all he or she does to keep your relationship and household running smoothly? (Even if you think your spouse doesn’t contribute enough, showing your appreciation for what is done will encourage him or her to do more.) (Tip 44)

Personal Reflections:

1. How do I handle “discussions” with my spouse? Do I listen attentively, gleaning whatever message he or she is trying to convey, or am I closed off, crossing my arms and doing my best to ignore him or her? How can I improve? (Tip 27)

2. What issues or problems are my spouse and I are currently facing, not just in our relationship with each other, but in our lives in general? Are we working together to find a solution? Have we discussed it thoroughly and openly? Have we taken it to prayer, and, if needed, sought the advice of our pastor or other trusted advisor? (Tip 29)

3. Are there any areas where I’m too controlling? Should I be, or do I need to let go? Do I irritate my spouse by my controlling nature? (Tip 36)

4. Do I speak poorly of my spouse in public? Do I gossip in general? Will I stop for the betterment of my marriage, my friendships, and the well-being of my soul? (Tip 37)

5. Am I sarcastic? Do I think it’s funny? Is it truly funny? How does it make my spouse feel? What is it teaching my children? Do I need to stop? (Tip 39)

6. What does my spouse do for me, our home, and our family? Do I sufficiently thank him or her for those contributions? If not, what plan can I make for correcting that? (Tip 44)

7. What is my default setting when my spouse makes a request of me? If it’s no, are my reasons valid, as in it was an unfair request? Or am I not being as generous of myself as I could or should be? Can I commit to doing better? (Tip 46)

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