Seniors Take on the Horror of College Apps... By samantha hsuing

Pinewood Seniors Take on the Horror of College Apps...

The clock says 9 p.m. The Pinewood senior awoke from a deep slumber, emerging from his bed like a zombie from its grave. What had been a six-hour nap felt more like a 20-day coma, and he felt a pang of regret as he realized that he would have to submit his college applications in three hours. How many essays had he written? None and zero (not to mention that he was supposed to write four in total). His mind dribbled back to his six hour mid-day doze, of which he had fallen asleep to his favorite television show, “Gossip Girl.” If only he had enough money to pay his way into college.

Preparing himself for inevitable doom, he gulped down a cup of cold coffee and devoured a few gummy worms, both of which had been collecting dust on his desk. Barf squeezing itself down his stomach, he began brainstorming essay ideas. His parents’ divorce? The time he helped a homeless man? His itchy hair? His love for McDonalds?

Suddenly, he had an epiphany – a spurt of inspiration broke into his mind. His fingers mechanically consumed the keys, clicking away so fast that he almost believed, for a second, that he would finish the four remaining essays. In reality, though, he had deviated far from focus and had started working on a fanfiction of him and Harry Styles.

The alarm clock squealed again at 10 p.m.. This time, he catapulted it across the room, watching it fly in linear motion into the wall. Two more hours. He wondered if attending college was even necessary, if he should forget about his college applications altogether. He was never able to receive straight As, Bs, or even Cs; how would he be intelligent enough in college? The senior eventually settled for the fact that he would not apply for college. Instead, he could enjoy his life as a New York Times #1 Bestselling Fanfiction Writer. Maybe he would have some crazy fans, and hopefully, he would meet Harry Styles.

However, even after coming to the decision that he would not attend college, his mind still lingered back to it. Even with a probability of 0.00001 percent, there was still a minute chance that he could be accepted.

At 11 p.m., the clock whimpered from the floor. After pulverizing it with his dirt-stained sneakers, the senior gathered his thoughts, his brain, his wits, himself, and began typing. The magic sprung out of his hands, gently lifting his fingers and placing them on all the right keys to create words, sentences, paragraphs, and finally, four essays. He pressed the submit button at precisely 11:59 p.m.

Magic may have been on the side of this particular senior, but it is certainly not with anyone else.

To all the Pinewood seniors: do not procrastinate and cram last minute like this senior did!