"She must look on herself as the bell-cow, the other woman were the gang"(41). Jody basically means that Janie has to be the one that stands out the most and no one can be higher then her and the other women must be the followers.
Janie wanted to do a speech but Jody said " Ah never married her for nothin' lak dat. She's uh woman and her place is in de home" (43). Trying to say that she is dumb only wanted her to stay at the house and do wife stuf
Jody doesn't like when Janie has her hair down it states in the book "whut make her keep her head tied up lak some ole ' Oman round the store" (pg.49). This is showing that other people are noticing the unhealthy relationship on Jody and Janie. And how he gets upset when Janie has her hair down and he makes her put it up when she goes to the grocery store or out for public.