One of these men shouts "I'm respecting the rules!" loudly at the ref, and we all laugh.
The Hype Bros vs Blake & Murphy. I'm disappointed that Murphy isn't dressed as appallingly as usual.
Nakamura's second ever WWE match happens right in front of us. Wow!
Goddamn fake sport.
S! A! W! F! T!
Ready, willing, and Gable. There's a couple behind us, and the woman repeatedly implores Enzo and Big Cass not to damage Jason Jordan's beautiful face.
This man's name is "No Way Jose". We steal the Sami Zayn chant for him.
His opponent is a German, wearing nazi trousers.
Uhaa Nation, sorry, Apollo Crews comes out...
... to face a very angry Samoa Joe.
The crowd turn into hilarious assholes, all of us. When mounting offence directly in front of us, Crews makes these "sha-BOOF" sounds with each blow.
So we spend the rest of the match chanting for some sha-boof and shaBAM and stuff. "Shoulda shaboofed him one more time, Apollo!"
THE GREATEST MAN THAT EVER LIVED appears
Against a man whose gimmick is wearing a bandana, and pretending to stir a bowl.
This man's name is Angelo Dawkins, though the black couple repeatedly shout out other black wrestler names because they all look the same, right? "Hey DeeLo! Hit him, Truth! Get him, Virgil!" and so on. Those of us who couldn't possibly get away with that just laugh our heads off.
Earlier, Blake & Murphy had come out with Bliss's name on the screen but she was nowhere to be seen. Now, she turns up without her chumps helping her.
Tully Blanchard's daughter Tess is her opponent.
Then more tag teams. Ciampa and JOHNNY WRESTLING!
Pretty sure Gargano hurts his arm with a ludicrous somersault out of the ring.
MEN ARE HERE!
"SImon, be more manly!"
Baron Corbin looks like my beer from Friday: arrogant bastard.
and then, it's Bayley! Everyone loves Bayley! Except Del, who hates everything good and pure.
10! 10! 10!
Tye Dillinger is fantastically entertaining.
Fuck me, Nakamura's fighting again!?
He bloody is! Crazy. Two fights in two hours!
Probably due to having barely eaten or drunk, I'm a bit cranky. I just want to get to a pub, but y'know what even with all the walking we've done so far we haven't actually seen any in Dallas city centre yet. I get Google maps directions to the American Airlnes Center, for the evening's Hall of Fame ceremony, and figure there must be somewhere to drink near there.
It's a long, boring walk with virtually no shops, definitely no bars, and pretty much only wrestling fans on the street. After a long while we stumble across the House of Blues, near a Hooters and a place called Dick's. The House of Blues has seats outside and we get beer and food. Things are looking up!
Also where Raw will be on Monday.
Bubba tells D-Von he's only allowed to say "testify!", so D-Von tells him to get his own damn tables in future.
Jacqueline makes a speech that sounds like a primary school "what I did in the holidays" essay. "I saw an advert and I applied to wrestle and I went to a gym and I won the championship and I won the championship again and made lots of friends and the rest is history". Um, OK then.
We are hugely offended by being told to applaud at some bits.
Flair loses it so much at the end of his introduction speech, he seems to think he's the one being inducted and that we're still in the 1900s. Get with it, Ric!