In the Hebrew scripts my name means grace , poise, elegance and all that. In my head it means ordinary, basic ,short from extraordinary. It is like a regular day, a day without rain without sun; an average day.
It was my mother's idea. Her idea to name me Hannah. The name is a blessing as much as curse. A blessing during good opportunity like a job interview or ordering food. A curse any other time. She thought of the name weeks before delivery. She told me that it came to her instantly like a plug to an outlet. “Hannah” she would say repeatedly.
Even though the name Hannah was the right fit. That wasn't the first option. Many names have came before it. At 7 months, the name Ursula was a thought. It means little bear , my mom thought that was adorable. The thought of being her little brown bear was soothing but after watching the “Little Mermaid” a popular Disney movie about a mermaid longing to be with a human who she love and co-starring a evil octopus named Ursula who lives to ruin the mermaid life and seal her voice.She realized that Ursula was not a suitable name for her first birth(a great decision).
Although, I did not get my name from a long line of family, my mother said what really pushed her to using that name for her first born was that the love for the meaning gracefulness and favor. She wanted the name to stick and resonate into my personality. She wanted the definition of my name to transfer into characteristics or qualities of who I am . She also wanted my name not to affect me in making a life for myself. She wanted a name than could further me in my doing. She thought that a name is the first impression before the face.
So for that, I would like to accept my name not for the name but for what it stands for and how now the meaning has truly resonated just like my mother wanted.
He is the only one who gets me and I him. He is the only one who calms me in times of stress. The only one who I can't stand but still need. The only one who I can love and hate. The only one who shares the bond of kinship. The only one who makes me laugh hysterically. We are two of the same like a tree sprouting branches with growing leaves. At the segregated age of seven and fourteen our bond is strong.
He is my little brother. Little to big , short to tall, he will always be my little brother.
Looking up at the sky she felt freedom. Gone from the troubles of life and poverty. She was no longer afraid, no longer sad, no longer alone. It was her clear skies and simply the grass that held her and detached her from her problems.
Looking up at the sky she embraced her ethnicity as misfit who doesn't fit in . She no longer lingers over current trends. Allowing none to break down her shield of self awareness.
Looking up at the sky she felt at ease. She watched the clear skies as it watched her . She observed the bursting Aqua shades in the sky like a splash of paint of a clear canvas , the soaring clouds in the distance endlessly racing . The sky appeared close, close enough to gently touch her . She was peaceful , calm. everything around her was dulcet.
Looking up at the sky she felt empowered. She felt that nothing could come between her intelligence. She knows that she can be anything she desires to be. Anything, anything under the skies. There are no glass boxes that can hold her back. She free to pursue her wildest dreams.
Looking at the sky she was able to take in her arms how valued she is in the skies eyes. She saw what no one else could..her worth. She put no worth in the negative words of anyone. As along all the clear skies watched over her she knew she would be valued.