Inner Defender: "The Inner Defender Judges Others:
The Inner Defender judges others, then blames them before self-assessment takes place. Once blaming an external takes place, complaining about the external and demeaning the external replaces problem-solving and escape occurs. Its positive intention seems to be fending off criticism and punishment from others.
An example from my life where I had an Inner Defender is when I tore my ACL, in 8th grade, playing soccer. I blamed God for everything that happened to me. I did not trust that He would bring me through this tough time. I was so bitter at the time that I did not want to listen to anyone, especially God. If I would have just trusted in Him that He knew what he was doing and he had a plan then everything would have gone so much better.
I would do things a lot differently now. I would not blame God but I would use what happened to me for His Glory. I cannot change what happened to me but I can change my outlook and use it to help others in the same situation. I wish I could know all the things I know now, but that is why growing up is a good thing.
Inner Critic: "The Inner Critic Judges us"
The Inner Critic judges self, blames self, complains about self, and demeans self. Its positive intention is to protect self from failure, but the actual result is either a partial attempt or no attempt at all.
I thought this would never happen. It was so hard to lose something that I loved so much and being that young it was really hard to handle. I feel like I had every inner voice when this happened to me. At first, the inner critic was telling me that I could never come back and be the soccer player I was. I could not be positive and was very depressed at that time because this voice was telling me I would never get better.
I would have been a lot more positive about the situation and just know that this is something I have to go through to make me the person I am today. Bad things happen to everyone but the real test is how that person responds to bad situations. I wish I could have been more positive but I cannot go and change the past, but I can change how I look at things now!
Inner Guide: "The Inner Guide offers an objective and wise perspective about ourselves and others"
The Inner Guide offers an objective and wise perspective about ourselves and others. It doesn’t self-demean; it doesn’t attack. Our inner guide tells us the absolute truth and allows us to be more conscious of reality, other people, and ourselves.
I finally realized blaming myself and God was going to bring anything good to my life. I started to become more positive about my situation. After 8 months of hard physical therapy, I was able to go back to soccer with no problem. I really do have God, Family, and Friends to thank for that. They supported me through it all. Unfortunately in 10th grade, I tore my second ACL. Going through the second injury was so much better because from the start I used my Inner Guide to be positive about the situation even though it was very difficult. After this injury, I still went back and played soccer with no problem. Using your Inner Guide is something everyone should strive to do because it makes everything good.
By doing this project, I have seen that my default is the Inner Critic. I always judge myself when something goes wrong. I really want to change this because I feel like I can be a better person if I do. This will help me in school and overall life. I judge myself to quickly, so I really need to work on it so I can be a better student. I feel like this will help me with my grades and not be so stressed out all the time. When something bad happens now I will try not to judge myself but use my inner guide. It is something that for most people it does not come naturally. Since it is hard for most people, it will be a daily commitment but it will be worth it.