I step outside and the bitterness of the air nips my nose. The oversized holes in my sweater don’t make it much better. I see a snowflake land in my hot chocolate, suddenly engulfed by the tiny marshmallows. I need to see something that will make my life something more than that of a lonely snowflake.
My life so far, is a terrible mess. Christmas Eve is upon us and there is no Christmas spirit in sight. My parents are now gone, and I have lost all sense of hope. The old traditions that I used to have with them, are gone too; decorating the Christmas tree, sipping hot chocolate by the fire, listening to Christmas music on cold Christmas Eve nights, and dancing in our pajamas and fuzzy socks. Those socks still sit in my room and disgust me when I look at them. I have lost everything. I feel so down about this whole situation. My desire, my inspiration, and the only thing I ever loved, all lost.
I feel like my fingers are about to freeze off when I realize the time. I’ve been sitting outside for almost 45 minutes! I decide to get off of the frosted front step and go inside. Nothing’s changed. The same old dull room filled with old sorrow that seems like it hasn’t left for an eternity. No tree, no lights, no stockings, no nothing. I make myself go upstairs to try and get my mind off of things.
I flop down onto my bed like the pancakes my dad used to make on Sunday mornings. I grab my phone and put on my headphones as a distraction. Right as the music starts to fill my ears, the door swings open. It’s my brother.
“Hey Cam, I got you a little something,” says Shawn.
“I don’t really want to see anyone right now,” I snap back not even bothering to look his way.
“Please Camryn, come on, I think you’ll really like it.”
“What will I really li-,” I swing my head around to see a gift wrapped with the keenest ability.
“OH MY GOSH, SHAWN!” I say with my mouth so wide open I hear it hit the floor.
“I thought you would like a little present on Christmas Eve since I know we haven’t done anything yet to welcome the holidays.”
“I appreciate it, I really needed this.”
“Your welcome. I’ll leave you alone now.”
The old door creaks shut. I urgently rip open the present. It’s an old family picture with Mom, Dad, Shawn and I, all in our pajamas, dancing around like the good old days. I close my eyes and I feel a snowflake hit my face. I instantly open them to realize it’s a tear. I wipe it away and turn the picture over to see a note. It reads:
I know that we haven’t done these types of things since Mom and Dad died, but I thought I would bring it back to ask you a question. Do you want to have a dance party in our pajamas and fuzzy socks tonight at midnight? If so, contact me. I’m just down the hall. I get it if you don’t want to, I just thought I would ask.
I sit in shock. I feel happy again. I realize that I forgot what it feels like. The warm gushy feeling inside where all your thoughts and emotions have disappeared and you don’t know what you’re feeling or what to do. I race down the hallway and tackle Shawn on his bed and embrace him in an immense hug.
“I accept your offer,” I whisper into his ear with a tear hitting his shoulder with every word.
“I’m so glad you feel this way too,” he muffles under the sound of his tears.
Once I make sure everything’s in check, I head back to my room and tuck under the crisp white covers, turn on my fairy lights, and go to sleep.
At 11:58, I hear my alarm go off and rush down the stairs to get the music set. 11:59 comes cruising by and so does Shawn. He’s wearing his Santa pjs and reindeer fuzzy socks.
“Are you ready?” he asks in a sleepy voice.
“Does Rudolph have a red nose?” I ask jokingly.
Suddenly it’s midnight, and I start the music. Within the first 30 seconds I feel like a whole new person. Someone I wouldn’t be without Shawn and what he did for me today. I now know I’m most definitely NOT that lonely snowflake.