What About Mouthwash By Trevor Moore

Drunk Texts To Myself

2013 | Comedy

Spotify | Amazon

“What about mouthwash? What about huffing paint? You don't need ID to buy it, and you can't arrive too late. -- What about mouthwash? What about smelling glue? If they say you can't buy liquor, then some cough syrup should do. -- And before we count this night up as a loss, what about mouthwash?”


  • By 15, Moore had become a published cartoonist after compiling his early work in a book called Scraps.
  • At 16, Moore created the comic strip Cuddy for the now-defunct newspaper The Charlottesville Observer.
  • By 18, Moore was offered a deal by Christian network Pax-TV (now Ion Television). His show lasted sixteen episodes.


Luke Tatum

The attack vector that no one will expect? You've been searching, and here it is. This, uh, ballad takes us on a journey of avoiding government regulations by turning to more outlandish alternatives. In a way that only comedy seems capable of doing, "What About Mouthwash" captures one of the biggest concepts that spelled failure for the war on drugs before it even began. If demand for something exists, but the state has banned the supply, people determined to get the product have two alternatives: break the law explicitly or search for less desirable alternatives. Our protagonist here tries both, but is thwarted in his attempt to break the law by the well-meaning liquor store operator. So again, back to the drug war. Ban safe drugs like marijuana, and people end up going for whatever can get them high. Cocaine, meth, and even worse drugs fill the gap left by the state's interventions. It's not to say that there would be NO use of harder drugs in a marijuana-legal world, but why bother breaking the law for those things when an affordable, legal alternative exists? Food for thought. Don't miss the video on this one!

Sherry Voluntary

HAHA this song is great. I come from the south where these "blue laws" are still on the books and actually practiced in some places. Hell, we just got wine in grocery stores, a couple of years ago, not on holidays though, mind you. Such a great illistration of how prohibitions actually encourage people to act in more "depraved" ways than the lawmakers fear that the prohibited substance will. It's goofy that a group of people could possibly determine that purchasing something on a certain day, or at a certain time could be any different than any other day and time. This is the nanny state doing what it does best: getting in the way of you living yoru life.

Nicky P

I adore Trevor and this song in particular even if The Whitest Kids You Know had pretty stupid politics on the program. This song is a remarkably succinct look at the core to why government intervention is a bad idea even if you don’t come all the way over to it’s immoral on its face. This song talks about a bunch of drunk underage rednecks trying to get lit and remarks at the futility of limiting one option. It covers the incentives and alternatives that the lead characters find to get around the arbitrary rules preventing them from getting drunk. In the end underage drinking laws, legal sales windows amongst other measures don’t stop the activity they attempt to. Instead, they simply push the individuals to less preferable alternatives. The bottom line is anyone who wants to do something will find a way. It doesn’t matter if it’s guns, drugs or drinking.

Created By
Nicky P

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