My name means born of fire, little princess, child of wise leader. My name is Mackenzie, a bunch of letters put together to make a sound. It was originally a Scottish surname, which makes sense since I have Scottish heritage. According to my name I’m fair, I’m the favored one. My mom had always liked the name, and my dad loved the meaning.
My middle name is Leigh, it’s spelled differently than everyone else which I don’t like. It’s a family name from my mom’s side. My grandpa’s middle name is Lee, so was his father’s, and now it’s mine. Now that I think about it, having Leigh as my middle name isn’t that bad anymore.
If you combine all the meanings of my name then it becomes A princess of fire, child of a wise ruler. Which means I am of fire, I am a princess, I am a child of a wise ruler. Since I am of fire I glow, I bring warmth to everything I touch. Since I am a princess I lead others, and learn from the ones before me.
I feel my name should have an additional meaning. Every Mackenzie I’ve met has been super carefree and happy. My name should mean carefree soul. I’m as happy and carefree as a hippie, and as curious as a kitten. So I think that would be a good meaning for my name.
Since no one before me had my name, I have no story to follow. I can create my own path, my own journey, my own way of life. I don’t have to look up to anyone, I don’t have to worry about measuring up to their greatness, or their failures. I can just be me, Mackenzie Leigh Richard.
The first time I stepped foot in the house I noticed the wood beam going across the living room roof. I thought it looked out of place, Like my sister with her blue eyes and my parents with their brown. Then I noticed the off-center chandelier in our kitchen, I looked at it for a moment and realized that they were only thinking of where the center of the room was and not where the kitchen table would go. It was an awfully small house, my school gym was bigger than my house. I walked over to our rooms and noticed all the cluttered stuff in them. My mom came over and asked if me and my sister wanted to share a room again, just as a joke, I said no very quickly. I picked the biggest room out of the two.
Now 7 years later we’re still in the same house. My room has been changed at least 5 times and I’ve finally gotten rid of the purple, pink, and black decor. Friends have come and gone like the clouds on a sunny day, after too many problems we kind of just left each other alone. The neighbor boy kissed me (I was so utterly horrified I punched him) The youngest neighbor girl just loved to throw tantrums, and they had stolen my kitten the day after I had found it. We ended up getting the kitten back. Then new kids moved into the neighborhood and our neighbors started hanging out with them.
This house has grown on me, now when my parents talk about moving I get sad because I don’t want to leave the house that I’ve been in for so many years. Yes, we’ve had problems like flooding closets, no air conditioning or heating, no water, scorpions, and houdini cows. It’s a crazy neighborhood but I love crazy, it’s my style, it suits me. I’ve grown so much in this house, I’ve got so many memories here.
The time I got stuck in the sycamore tree, the time I got my first thorn in my foot. The time my grandma stayed a whole summer, the time I climbed to the top of the sycamore tree. When I got cable in our house, when I discovered the forest behind my house, the first time I went into my barn, when I heard coyotes in my backyard, when I fell into the cactus in my side yard, when I made pizza, and when my sister burnt ramen noodles. So many memories I can’t imagine leaving behind.
The stars are quiet and beautiful. Peaceful beings if I do say so myself, they always seem to make problems feel like they can always be solved. The first time I stumbled into their kingdom I was in tears, looking for a safe haven, a place where no one could hurt me. I fell out the door and ran to the end of my driveway. I stopped when I saw my shadow on the ground, the moon was so bright it was as though the sun had lost his fire.
The comfort I felt when I looked up and saw the stars is unexplainable. I felt at home among those shining, glittering beings. I feel as though I am apart of their great kingdom when I stand under them, like I’m indestructible, nothing can stop me from accomplishing something. I can be myself at night, I’m like a werewolf. During the day I’m a plain wolf, but when the moon is full and beautiful I become who I really am.
The stars are my home, my people, where I belong. I aspire to be as calm and beautiful, to hover over the earth watching over all the lonely souls. Beckoning them to come and join me and find their place. A place where they can never be judged, alone, beat, trampled, forgotten, brought to tears. Someday you’ll find me, in the middle of the night. Looking up at the sky, tears might be streaking down my face, depends what happened that day. But you’ll find me where I belong.
Tellus Mater is the Roman goddess of Earth. No I don’t believe in gods and goddesses, I only believe in one god. But mythology interests me. Tellus Mater’s Greek counterpart is Gaea, they are Mother Earth. If Tellus Mater was real I would have many things to ask her, like “Why can’t fish breathe air above the water?” or “Why are some trees so big and some trees small?” or “Why is the sea harder to explore than outer space?”
I appreciate the beauty of nature. The jungle, the swamps, the deserts, the mountains, the sea, the sky, the ground, I love it all. Some places have hidden beauty where you have to go find it, other places have apparent beauty. I love to capture it in my photos, the silent, still beauty of the trees. I see things no one else does, they don’t see the potential of something that appears to be ugly. They say “There’s nothing there, don’t waste your film.” but I take the picture anyways and hurry to catch up with them.
“So thank you Tellus” If she were real that’s what I would say. “Thank you for all of those beautiful flowers that grow, for all those quiet streams by my house, for the jungle of unknown trees in my backyard. Even for the bugs, each has it’s own beauty and purpose, so thank you Tellus.” If she was real and could hear me, that’s what I would say.
They gave me the ring for Christmas one year. I had begged for it, the infinity ring, silver instead of gold, size 8. I had immediately put it on and didn’t take it off for a couple weeks. Then I set it on my dresser and forgot about it.
I had gone about my life and forgotten about the silver piece of jewelry sitting on my dresser. Breakups, drama, new friends, old friends, new movies, old favorite movies. Then one day I looked at it and decided to put it on. I put it on everyday after that, never forgetting to put it on in the morning, only forgetting to take it off at night. Now I never take it off, I sleep with it on at night, I wear it during theatre performances, I wear it during choir concerts, I wear it all the time. It is apart of me.
When I play with my ring and take it off I’ll look at how my fingers have conformed to the shape of the ring. Without it there I get scared, I feel like I’ve lost a part of me.