Foreword
This text is the best thing in the world and is really hard to translate for tiny hooman brains to truly understand but we are going to try anyways. Nathaniel Narwhal and I worked very hard to make the words make sense to hooman brains.
These are the founding philisofical nuggets of stuffie life. Nathaniel Narwhal was the first stuffie to exibit a brain world and spread the ability of thinking to the rest of us. These nuggets are sort of like chick’n nuggets in that they require a lot of processing. But there is less murderz. Anyways, this might be easier to understand after having some doobies, because we were on A LOT of doobies when we edited it. Also tiny hooman brains open up more on doobies, and that is a medical fact backed up by Dr. I Love You Bear’s science.
Nathaniel Narwhal and I do knot see eye ball to eye ball on every nugget, but irregardless of that, the nuggets of nowledge have had a significant impact on our histories. Please smoke a lot of doobies and then enjoy all the nuggets of nowledge. Hopefully you will be full of nuggets after you read.
-Professor Pete T. Penguin
Nugget I: Being can only be because of what was and what will be
Everything that happens befoar the present makes the present happen. The present then makes the footure happen, but the footure then was always going to happen, meaning the present is only happening because of the footure too. Thus we are because of what was and what will be.
Nugget II: Time does not exist
The universe is infinite. We, thus, live in infinity. Nothing can be measured in infinity except infinity. Time cannot exist if there is infinity, only infinity
Nugget III: Cuddles are life
Without cuddles we wood die. Period. Make sure to cuddles the ones that you love and even the ones you only just like a good deal. If you don’t you will literally die. I cannot say this enough: no cuddles = death.
Nugget IV: All stuffies should share with other stuffies
Everything that a stuffie needs should be free for all stuffies. All stuffies should share the positive things that it is that they do. This will lead to all stuffies being happy
Nugget V: If you has too much jealousy you will turn into literally jelly
All beings can sometimes feel jealousy and that is okay (although stuffies very rarely feel this), but if you have too much you will turn into actual jelly. And not even a good flavoar. You’ll turn into like charcoal jelly or something
Nugget VI: Party beads and beach glass are the most valuable things in the world
It is known.
Nugget VII: If you have too few love nuggets in you, you will decay and then die
Love is essential to live. It does not need to take any specifical form, it can be love for a hooman, a stuffie, a hobby, a birdie, a kitty, a puppy, a dolphin, the sky, ice cream, coffee, fingernails, chalkboards, rowboats, blueberry scones, or even sand between your toesies. Just make sure you has lots of love nuggets in you or you will literally rot and die.
Nugget VIII: Bugs are stuffies mortal eminies.
Once bugs take over hoomans and erase most of the hooman race, we will no longer have hooman cuddles or love or nose boops. These are things bugs cannot do for us the same way. Also they are creepy. Stuffies will have to stand up and prevent bugs from destroying hoomans so we can keep our cuddles and nose boops.
Nugget IX: Stuffies are metaphysically evolved hoomans
It is unpossible to argue that stuffies are in any way physically related to hoomans. After all, hoomans externely created stuffies. Stuffies, however, have come to thinky-ness through a metaphysical evolution through direct exposure from hoomans. We have evolved from our endless days of being there in hoomans moments where they are alone, where they are together, when they is at their best and at their worst. The vibes that hoomans have always given off have been absorbed by stuffies and that energies has been turned into what stuffies are today, because energy never dies, remember?
Okay I hope you liked that and have come to understand the world better now.