I now jog on tricky pavements of concrete with it's street cracks fill with tiny rockys and unloved side walks which have me on the edge to carefully tread on them.
I now jog on grassy areas that give some comfort to the soles of my feet, and reflective walking trails that allow me to stay focus on my path.
I now jog on an electric treadmill with t.v. touch screen reading my heart rate and jogging pace.
My new normal is facing life with the emptiness of not having you around to see me jog. Living with my present in the absence of your presence. Life has many jogging paths. One path is the courage to continue taking risks with an understanding of its consequences and personal growth. As a loving daughter, I still want to make you smile and live out your legacy which remembers your sacrfices for your family.
When I'm jogging on the rough roads, and feel as if I'm running out of breath, I hear my heart praying and whispering your Mexican expression of encouragement, "Mija si se puede Solamente héchele ganas!" And when my feet get weary, I decide to chose a more smooth grassy familiar road found in my faith, my traditions, my gifts. I'm reminded and refreshed about my purpose in life. I find my inner spiritual identity, peace, and Gods love of a Heavenly Father. As the days go by and some memories fade, I find myself on the treadmill of modern society with cutting edge technology. I take new roles which present new challenges, and embrace new views of life.
No matter where I go to jog. I am able to mediate on my current state of mind and also to the reality that I cannot share life with you in the physical world.......