Um, what is one way that I can put this... Yeah uh I was definitely able to reflect on myself this week and I truly feel like I grew in the sense that I saw everything that I did for what the process it took to do it instead of just seeing the end product.
Let's start with Raid 3
Raid Three in my opinion has been the hardest thus far, and prior to this class, I would've taken the end approach of reflection to just analyze the end product that I made instead of seeing the process that I took in going about my assignment. If I had taken the approach that I would've usually taken, I would make the comment "Oh, this shouldn't of taken me as long as it did." or "I can't believe I let myself take that long to do all of that."
I have found myself on the opposite of the spectrum to where, I don't think I did it well enough. I feel as if I could've taken longer, so that I had more than enough to put into my paper even though I spent hours on it. The reasoning behind this is because I have found that this week I had to just make myself quit because of being a perfectionist. I want it to be perfect, and obviously, it isn't going to be. That is the hardest thing to face, because I take on these plans to do certain things and they are laid out perfectly, but when I go to execute whatever it is, whether writing, or something else outside of it, I always fall up short because I'm not ever going to be perfect. No one can. And that is the hardest reality for me to face especially when I repeatedly set myself up like that.
Thus, this week I was really able to stay controlled of myself and not let me spend more than 6 hours on this. I still am not confident in it but if I fail even after spending all those hours on it, so be it. I'll just have to work my ass off on another assignment to work it out.
Shitty First Drafts
I was able to get through with myself on the shitty first drafts. Im usually the time to go ahead and try to perfect the first draft in the first sit down and it only gets me more and more frustrated. I will have to thank you Chris for assigning this adventure because without it, I feel as if I would've continued on my three years in the same stubborn, mindset. Because now I have to accept that it is going to be bad the first go around, but also, that working more times on it, even little spans of time, will benefit me more than big chunks.