I'm eating a namebrand Chick-Fil-a chicken sandwhich
All part of my master plan
I started a new diet and ate a cake as celebration.
Happiness is a government lie.
Look at my new strat
I don't know!
HEY! Thats the guy I lit, too!
If the opportunity to suck toes presented itself, I'd shoot the person. We must rid this world of toe-suckers, one at a time, slowly but surely.
*BLARES KAHOOT REMIX*
Meet my club
Nah, lets go, I want to do less productive stuff.
If you take the "I" out of "Illness" and replace it with "We", it becomes "Wellness", time for communism.
GOTTA GO GRIND
BOI, I tellyah WAT
I think the word started with a "G".... "Envy", thats the word.
Hands, stop sinking up
Played like fiddle
Do yah laddie
Guilty by association? I try my best NOT to associate with this dood.
I don't needa jacket
Buy me AWP
We lost dis game, WE GOT 2 YEAR OLDS
The more i go on instagram the more i see celebs die of ligma
I'm done with Discord
But I have a higher SAT score
I fricking hate this game
That's right that's what I thought
I'm Cute? It runs in the genes.
Dude, look at you, have you seen yourself?
Kalista's biggest match up is riot games
Awww frick dood
I'm a natural born gamer
Waft that good stuff
Let me maps it
MOM! Get out of my room, Im playing IMCRAP!
*EXTREMELY high pitched laugh*
What are you, Gay?
SHUT THE FRICK UP!
You lookin' like a snak!
You come into my house.... you eat my food... you talk to my family... you lie in my room... you game on my computer... and now you are asking me to do this?
Edwin is queuing with coppers!
(BURP) OK, Im back
Shut up Bruce, noone gonna buy you AWP
Are you kidding me?
See ya nurd!
Watch out, THERES BEES!
A deep exhale of SATIFICATION
Ease up on that trigger man.
I got someone in my sights!
I can't E through this wall. No, legit, I couldn't E... You don't understand, listen man.
yeah, my chub is full mast right now, I can cut diamonds
You can't eat cheeto puff's there! You're a dog!
Good. Tired. Sleepy. Need Money.
SCALING FOR LATE GAME!
legos are not toys, they are construction sets
You don't got no strap, no heat
For my king!
You sealed your fate when you crossed me boi!
Wow, you squandered your gift like this?
oh evil geniuses, why must you be so evil?
ITS MY TURN TO TALK! YOURE STEALING!
I just hit my... My face hurts now!
I forgot you had extra chromosomes until you talked.
you sound like you work at home depot
Im watching my weight, gotta eat Diet Pantalones
$200? I'll meet you in the middle... $5.
I keep losing focus because I gotta poo
the one time i let you speak, you have nothing to say?
I spent buku bills on this
i was walking up to a dumpster, and I saw a girl inside, she tossed away my boxes for me
*Loud sexy moan*
Would you like to buy my wares?
What an unfortunate situation I am in. Sike! Uhuhwehuh
oooh, i was clenched the whole time
My mic is in my mouth now
My game is a freaking powerpoint right now.
I'm waiting for the program to respond, but it just isnt responding now well, I gave it everything it wanted out of a relationship. It still isnt responding.
If the opportunity presented itself, I wouldn't say no to sucking toes
woe is me
What kinda meat you like?
look at this sweaty guy, he has enough sweat to fill a 5 foot pool
Aidan! Get back in the box
(MIC CLOSER): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Your mouth is open as much as 7/11
When I don't get cucked by the game, i get cucked by kyle
I can dodge this
Am I Bruce?
4 PLY WHEN I CRY
DOOOOoood! Killed them through you!
If you don't feel like building, ask Mr.Ness a question about star wars
Is your chocolate chipped?
If you had edwin's internet, this game's download speed would be longer than the gameplay
Boyyyy, 49939 iq
Im gonna nut
He seems legit since he's kinda poor
*Stuck* I'm going to sleep
But me!? I'm tight as FRICK!
That's the guy I lit
I can fit at least 6 toes in my mouth
The enemy has a grab too!?!?
Thats rich coming from you.
trips a lot, breaks left knee, runs into Stefan... Soccer time
Bruce: "What should I buy" Toan: "English lessons"
Don't be sorry, be better
I only clicked twice to kill a man six times
This Hawaiian punch skittle juice combo tastes like blood
At least geeks are cool, you are just a dork
Girls are cute
A gag is a blindfold for the mouth
His neck is a firehose ejecting hair
You can move stuff with two hands
My beard finally got moderately itchy, giving me the only incentive to shave
His height is his shrine
I am the greatest businessboy, but when it comes to businessmen, I disappear.
Im too poor to negotiate with terrorists right now
Ah, the sweet smell of diabetes... I love it.
Mod abuse is just one of those child stories parents tell you to make you smile. Later in life, you learn it isnt real.
Cops are gonna call the police!
Bruce, pass the salt
You shouldn't hijack trains, since the police know exactly where you are going
It doesn't matter how far you are, only the direction you are going.
If braum was your father and you got grounded, you could never leave your room.
Use your mind not your mouth
Although a sharp word and burnt food are not the same, they are both born of a mistake and serve as a reminder to what should not be given to people.
You know whats good? Hibana
I looked both ways before crossing the street, but I still got run over by a plane.
FOR HAVING GLASSES, YOU HAVE QUITE THE KEEN EYE
Can I get some of those pneumatic women?
Of course you would try to make money off of my unhappiness, Sam.
I'm skipping prom so I have to at least do a senior quote.
Slurpy till yah burpy!
I used to spend money to make other people suffer.
If you are in a hurry, eat some curry.
I waited all this time just to miss my chance
I had to go through vigorous training and certifications to give that advice.
How can you have something both bald and black? Its a bald eagle, not a black eagle.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
I seem to be as blunt as possible, whenever possible
I wonder how you get to the point where you can speak with an accent like this, it actually seems hard.
That looks like a 4-sided triangle... thats a rectangle.
I may not be the best shooter, but i am the bets team player
Marvel has to keep it going, they are probably going to announce Avengers: Aftermath at the end of Avengers: EndGame
Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.
Are you having trouble writing that scholarship essay about adversity? I'd be glad to give you some content.
I didn't kill him, I just shot him. It was up to God if he died.
In a french fry, the potato is the meat since a french fry is the sandwich bun
Use a compass to find the hangle of the dangle
Frowned upon, but not arrested upon
Measure once, cut twice
The Arabs conquer the facial hair realm.
Looks like buddy isn't gonna get his answers.
Turn into a backpack and I will wear you.
I'm being used as a baseline because i'm the worst?
Same brain waves...
what is is like being a double homo sapien?
*laughs for 2 hours*
Your king has been named
i couldn't figure out how to plug in my headset during a flight, so i watched creed without audio
Dear mother, the chicken tenders at PDQ are very good.
Uh... let's not stretch the truth buddy.
Heres $500, keep the change.
I didn't get the beat wrong, you got your hearing wrong.
How come you aren't good at school if you've been doing it for 12 years?
That conversation with her was pretty stressful, I gotta go pee now.
He crouched to increase his accuracy tenfold
That is true, I won't deny you
Broforce is just duck game with man
Unpickled pickles dont go in a sandwich
Wait... you can't say that!
Kyle: "if you live under their roof, you are under their reproof" Naseem: "What if I go to a hotel the weekend before"
Edwin: "Im sorry, my slow internet is making me lose this game" Naseem: "Its ok, you're bad anyways"
lol my vocab went out the window when highschool hit
Do you like to suck frostbitten toes?
The lights flickered, but why didnt the internet flicker?
If I don't gettuh _____ on this test, Imma int.
Expanding your champion pool? You got a bottle cap of champions if anything.
Do you want aids thou
My keyboard is broken again
Yo, when there's stakes like going to bed early, I POP OFF
The animal on the right is an otter, the animal on the left is a dog.
That traditional kid who cuts you in line, he might not be going to college, but who's gonna be paying his food stamps later? YOU.
Why should I be punished for playing with bad people?
What if you already passed your half-way point for life right now?
*Gets hot during escape room, checks thermostat, it broke so he beats it, uncovers major clue*
Prime time for computer time
I need people to eat at outback so I don't die, its true.
High school was a bruh moment, hope college isnt a bruh moment
Its not cheating, its being good. Is angle shooting cheating? No, its skill.
1 Year? That's a sixth of this little guy's life, no way he can wait that long.
There is always a way to cheat out of it
That is a BIG freaking biscuit
DID SOMEONE SAY.... DUCK GAME
That is what I was trying to say, but im illiterate
People saying we gotta save the future human race is cool and all, but Im not gonna spend extra money just help out the future people. Why should I care?
That's the move
VRChat is like a skype call but its better than a skype call
cameron: "I don't cheat when I know im being recorded" Naseem: "You just admitted to cheating"
We should have laser hair removal but for fingernails so they never grow again. Just get them to that perfect length.
Can I make my password just "1"? Ness said to make it easy to remember.
Don't judge me, Im going back to elementary school level
Skydiving without a parachute? I think you could recover from that.
That girl looks like one you would rent off the street
Im not cheating, Im exploiting!
I can put both turn signals on at the same time
I didnt know you could die from AIDS
Practice makes patience
You can't ask them OUT until you beat your shmeet to em.
Captain marvel is my new superhero waifu
I swear Im good guys
Im gonna play minecraft, there's nothing to do
*Gets flamed* I'm just gonna eat my chicken nuggets
Edwin: "Can phones record phone calls?" Kyle: "Isn't that a voicemail?"
Too many soundcloud rappers, the market is being saturated
Ask me who joe mama is
I can beat my meat but I can't beat my heart
I snap like Jake's leg
I'm kinda slow in the brain
Whenever I'm unappreciative, my mom always tells me stories about her sleeping on the floor.
I have a Rolex Submariner, I bet you don't know what that is huh?
I didn't have a UF Preview so IM going to sign up to be a preview staffer to see what it was all about
I'm 18 and my blood sugar is already high
You know what stopped me from writing good college essays this year? Angry birds star wars
Yo, dap me up. kckckckckck
When I was 9 I ACCIDENTALLY killed my pet chicken by suffocating it in the dryer since it was cold. I warmed a towel using the dryer and then shut it off, put the chicken in on the towel, and closed the hatch.
"Bruce: My headset broke and now imma get mad, abuhbuhbuh"
*Lost ranked* I'm sorry guys, its late. I'm gonna go to sleep.
I came here to get scared, not roasted. - Edwin @ Howl-O-Scream, 2018
Kyle:"Think of the children, Edwin, the children." Edwin: "I dont care, these kids are crybabies and lie to me."
Oh my god buddy, please dont kill me
That's kinda quirky doe
thats a knee slapper bro
What flavor of pizza is that?
Jake's chest is really comfortable
Today is the day I start my Juul addiction
Lion-king? Its a train from Thomas-the-tank-engine dog.
One time my mom told me she hit the nic, but couldnt stop coughin', she don't hit the nic anymore.
The tar really hits different
I go 16/0 when Im not playing with you
I'm tired of being controlled by the rich.
I need my nic!
We actually Snap
I don't deserve to be in plat
Guess who is stronger in the arms than you?
Aye whats poppin'?
An Asian store named "Dong"? I'd go in. If it was American, no way.
I deserve to be in plat!
I dated a girl out of anger
what is ahhhsburgers?
That was kinda lame, I didn't even cringe
i used to be called a bald headed chicken
Did Michael Jackson die from laying in a pool of bleach to change his skin color?
In the end, our body betrays us when it kills us
Honor codes are more useless than the "Rate the Kahoot" screen
i don't play dirty when im clean
Hah, you're funny
I guess we just need to get better
We should play minecraft
I used to be the owner of a minecraft server, a 1-person server.
alright boys, its time to play dirty
You can make alot of money as a penetration tester.
lol the bible is my favorite anime