The sun was shining through the blooming trees on this warm day in April. We were walking around the block, talking about our day, listening to the birds chirp.
“So M and I have been talking, and I might ask her out,” J said confidently.
“No way, Jose,” I exclaimed.
M was my best friend, and I had been friends with her since I was 8 years old. We were extremely close right from the beginning. Videos after videos of 8 year-old girls giggling filled our camera rolls very quickly, and we have made so many memories and jokes. We were inseparable right up until I was pulled from my old home and thrown into a new one because my dad wanted to move closer to work.
(One of our many inside jokes)
“Why not?” he asked, disappointed by my disapproval.
“Because she’s my best friend, J, and I don’t like it.”
J continued to talk to her.
A week went by, and I got a text from M, “Hey want to have a sleepover this weekend?”
“Of course! At your mom or dads?” Was my answer.
“What about at your house?” That was the last reply I thought I would get. She hadn’t slept over my house for 2 years, but all of the sudden she wanted to sleep at mine.
“Hmm, I wonder why?” I thought to myself sarcastically as I rolled my eyes.
Although how much I wanted to say no, I exclaimed “Of course you can!”
That Saturday night she was at my house, and we were listening to music, taking funny videos of each other, just hanging out.
At around 11pm, she said the words I feared she would say all day long: “Can J come over?”
I fought it as much as I could, telling her “It’s too late, M, I doubt either of our parents would be okay with that.”
I was getting annoyed, and we could both feel the tension between us. Little did we know this was just the beginning.
“Just ask your mom already!” She argued.
I gave in and asked my mom. Out of all things she could possibly say yes to, she picked that. So, he came over, and we hung out for about a half an hour, until his mom called him home.
I could hear a quiet voice from the other side of the room: “M, will you be my girlfriend?”
Her answer was yes. I rolled my eyes as I talked on FaceTime with my other friend, who found the situation hilarious.
Every day when we went on our walks I was bombarded with the same question:
“Can you ask M to come over this weekend? She can just tell her mom to drop her off at your house, then she can walk to my house, okay?”
I was beginning to not want to be friends with J anymore.
One day towards the end of April I got a FaceTime call from M, who excitedly said, “Hey can you come over on Saturday for my birthday party at my dad’s house? It’s only you and J that I’m inviting though. Oh, speaking of J, can your mom bring him over too?”
I rolled my eyes once again, since that was when I realized that her only inviting J and I to her “birthday party” was a cover-up for having him over and using me as his transportation. I began to really hate them dating, so I told J about it.
That was a big mistake.
I got a text from M, saying “How come J just told me that you don’t want to be friends?”
“I never said that, what I said was I didn’t want to take J because I felt used.”
“I can’t believe you would lie to me like that.”
I tried to tell M what happened, but she believed J, and called me a bad friend for lying, and then wouldn’t talk to me. I called my other friend who lives near me, and she rode her bike over. She really helped me realize that if M chooses her boyfriend over her best friend, then she doesn’t deserve to have a best friend.
About an hour went by when M finally talked to me: “I’m sorry for believing J over you, I can’t believe I believed my boyfriend over my best friend. I still want you to come to my party, and I hope you forgive me.”
After a lot of hard thinking I forgave her because after all she is my best friend: “I forgive you and of course I will still come.”
(This was taken after our last bootcamp class just days before we got our black belts together.)
She didn’t ignore me as much as I thought she would that night, and I had a lot of fun even though it kind of bothered me that J was there, but I had to get over it because he was still her boyfriend even after he had lied to her. However, after 4 more days their relationship ended. This experience helped me realize that forgiveness is necessary to move on with a friendship, no matter how tough it is to forgive.