Such a telling question isn't it? To make known what it is our minds really desire can be scary. Sometimes it takes admitting it to another for us to realize what that thing really is, as if hearing the words spoken on the outside of our minds makes it more of a reality. It is easy to determine actually, the scriptures speak plainly of it when the verse says, "Wherever your heart is, there is where your treasure lies." So what is it? Think now, think about what it is you think about, even when you are doing other things. It probably came to mind when you read the title because our mind knows even when our mouths will not admit it. Maybe there is more than one thing that you desire to do, even then, out of those there is one that you prefer. It is usually what your day revolves around; it is that thing that hurries you through the things that MUST be done so that it can be done sooner. It is that thing that makes your mind swell with envy when you see someone else doing it successfully while you think, "How is it that they are able to do this thing when I cannot?"
It is that thing that you want so terribly much that it almost sickens you to think that you may never do it on a larger scale than what you do it now. I had an uncle who used to say, "Can’t never could". How fitting is this sentiment when it comes to that thing you desire to do but lack the confidence to do it because you have said to yourself, "I cant". I will reassure your thoughts on this by saying that if you cannot even convince yourself that you are capable of accomplishing this thing that you most desire, no one else will ever be convinced either. This ability, this gift or talent, this skill that resides within you in the form of desire will never be known to the outside world if you never perform or display it for the world to see. Ah yes, this is the aspect of the conundrum of how to obtain our desires, which is us asking ourselves, "What if they see it and don’t like it?"
You have now expanded upon your initial desire of wanting to do or be something; you now want to be good at is as well. Here we see a shift in the whole structure of our longing when we see this addition made. First, we want to do something because we desire it, we love it, it's our lifelong dream! Now we want to do something that others will desire, like, appreciate, or enjoy, we have gone beyond doing something solely for the reason of it being a desire. We might would want to say at this point that we desire both to do this thing AND for others to like it as well. Now compromise has been introduced into the equation, because to do it out of desire would be to do it however you choose, while on the other hand to do it so that others would like it, more times than not, is going to involve you changing your choices to suit their desires. So we find ourselves doing what others desire, which is as far away from loving and desiring something for ourselves as we can get.
My nephew Jason Smith shared a video on Facebook that spoke of doing what you desire, and it is almost absurd to think that what we desire hinges on the consent and approval of others. It is almost absurd that the will of others shape and influence our own will to the point that it will forsake its own desires and its own happiness to gain the acceptance of those around us. I will pause here to make the obligatory remark that everyone doesn’t do this, there are some that march to the beat of their own drum, they have remained true to themselves from day one; these are the ones that society has called idiots, morons, and loonies. It's sad though true, if you want to do your own thing in this world you better be prepared to catch abuse from the majority. It scares them, it makes them see a glimpse of everything they are not, it makes them aware that they aren't different or special or even good, it makes them see that they are as unoriginal as they can possibly be. So they say things like, "That is so stupid", "What a waste of time", and "What you do is absolutely good for nothing."
They don’t want you to succeed because it will make them feel even smaller than they already do, but if you are doing what you love because you love it, then they cant take anything away from you because your happiness in fulfilling your desire doesn’t hinge on their approval. In fact, any approval that is gained is secondary; it is a byproduct in the sense that if anything is gained it is a plus, but if no one ever approves there is nothing lost. So I'm just gonna go ahead and put this out there, that thing that I desire. I desire to write.
I desire to write because it makes me feel that I've done something that could possible help others, and in the past my success has been determined by how many likes, comments, or views it got. I have lost out on the joy of a lot of personal success because I allowed myself to believe that it was the acceptance of others that made me successful. I had quit writing for a good while until tonight, and this is the first of many to come. I am no professional writer or author by any means, but it was said of the same uncle that I mentioned earlier that he may not have been the best at what he did, but nobody loved doing it more. I have officially adopted that saying as my own because i love it, and i dont think many could love it more. So what is your desire?
