Listening is the order of the day. Such is the lesson that I am learning. As I go deeper into the Life Visioning, I come to realize how little mastery I have had over certain aspects of my mind. Such is the great frustration, the lack of completeness of my attainments, where I felt 'Manifestor' consciousness was ungraspable because I could not manage the thoughts within my MInd, all part and parcel of a deep, deep-rooted hatred towards the conditions of the Earth plane and what we are demanded to endure in the Incarnate. * Yet *, within this, I recognize that such IS THE MISSION, to clear and cleanse the Self, to attain that Mastery, such that I may illuminate the Road back to Heaven on Earth.
As the mists of confusion clear even more within me, I am reminded AGAIN of the prime, that I am to cultivate Listening. Listening to my body, listening to Spirit, listening. Despite the massive Gifts I have in magick and awareness, there are holes, demanding repair. This is one of them. Once more, I turn to Beckwith for an illuminate Light that reminds me of the true Nature of things, a remedy for the errant and shifting detritus of the human Mind.
After dropping King Niekko off at the station, I consider my options. The arrival of the check for $21,000 makes a big difference, yet now I must face the reality of having left the Commonwealth for the mountains and the necessity of clearing my accounts. Receiving wisdom from both my Mother and Niekko, I begin to investigate what are called 'credit unions' and 'second chance' bank accounts to re-establish my presence in the financial World of the Commonwealth.
It is like moving through a maze. A true L.A. Story. As I come into the credit union, it turns out they require two forms of ID and a proof of address. Having lost my wallet, I have only one form of ID (my passport) and no address, as well, the likely possibility that my license is suspended due to an insurance and timing issue, brought upon by not having enough money in the account to pay for the insurance a month or two ago. This could be so frustrating. An ongoing sense of failure and/or quesitonable manifestation in the Earth plane. Yet I will not allow it to get me down. I will hold the line with my attitude, reminding myself that this is a Friendly Universe.
I call Shawn, to get some vantage on the situation. His advice is that there is always room for negotiation, and that I should be willing to make a deal with them, that the action of wishing to make amends is valuable. This feels solid to me, for it is the manner in which i've cleared out issues in the realms before, by giving respect to the form of things as they are in this Age and moving forward from there.