Roses Journey Hi, my name is Rose i’m 16 and live on the southside of Chicago which isn’t the best place to grow up. Im in 10th grade and I started school a year late. I’m not that good at school but i like to write and read. When you read this, it will be after everything had happened, but for now let’s start from the beginning.

It all started freshman year of High School when almost all the kids in my school did drugs and smoked. I felt pressured and left out. All the cool kids did drugs which didn’t make sense to me because I thought drugs were really bad. Nothing seemed to happened to everyone that did drugs so it seemed like they weren’t as bad as everyone made them seem. I started thinking a lot about just smoking and alcohol and what it can do to you.

One day during school I was walking to 3rd period and when I turned the corner I noticed something foggy in the corner of my eye. I kept walking but then realized what I saw and I slowly walked back and peeked around the corner and saw 2 girls smoking a blunt. I panicked and didn’t know whether to keep walking or tell someone but my gut was telling me to go to guidance. I kept walking to class because I didn’t want to be a snitch and have them get mad at me. I knew that decision was the wrong thing to do but I shrugged it off and kept on going with the day. After school I said to myself “Whatever i’ll just do it.” and I went to my friends house and told them what I wanted...I asked for some Marijuana and he gave me a little baggie.

I got home and just sat on my bed debating on whether or not I actually wanted to do this. I didn’t know how it would affect my life and my school life and I was starting to rethink it. If my mom ever found out she would beat me which is just another problem to add to the list of things going wrong. I gave it some thinking and 20 minutes later I decided to wrap it up and I just did it. As soon as I took a puff I could feel the guilt running through my body...I was ashamed of myself but I felt better knowing that I at least tried it.

About a week and a half later i’m still doing Marijuana but only because I read that it calms you down and reduces stress. Maybe Marijuana really isn’t as bad as I thought it was. I felt so much better ever since I started and I felt...free. Every Wednesday and Thursday me and some “friends” would meet after school to go to this skate park where nobody really went anymore and smoked some joints. A couple weeks later my English teacher pulled me aside and showed me my grade. When I looked down at the computer screen, my mouth dropped open...I had a 26% in her class but I do my work...as much as I can remember, but to be honest this week is kind of just a blur to me. I don’t know why it’s more of a blur to me but I want to remember. I guess it wasn’t that big of a deal.

After a while I just became cranky and didn’t have the motivation to do anything, not even to dress decent when I was going to school. I ended up failing all my classes and my parents just always yelled at me and hit me and I lost all the friends I had. I felt like the world was closing in on me didn’t know what to do anymore. I finally just laid down and started getting into this deep thinking mode and noticed how everything went downhill in my life from when I started smoking Marijuana. I hated where my life was going and how it was all just becoming this big mess. My mom was more upset with me because I was failing all my classes miserably and she wanted me to be successful and I spent over $100 on pot and most of it wasn’t my money, most of it was my mom's.

I didn’t know how to come to terms with the fact that I was an addict, but sadly it was true. I didn’t know how to stop so I came out to my mom and told her about everything and she signed me up for therapy.

2 YEARS LATER

Hi, im Rose and I am currently 2 years clean from smoking or drinking or doing any sort of drugs. This wasn’t easy at all but thanks to my new friends, family, and my amazing therapist Jenna I have been much better. For anyone out there struggling with addiction, don't be afraid to speak up and get help, the sooner the better.

Written by - Amber Gagnon

Credits:

Created with images by GAD-BM - "green grass ganja" • annaharmsthiessen - "wáter girl model" • Jurassic Blueberries - "Blunt Picnic - 2015" • saibo - "lips smoke female" • Torben Bjørn Hansen - "marijuana joint" • SBSTNC Photography - "Smoke Break" • rafael-castillo - "Yohannes" • Unsplash - "window view sitting indoors" • teamLumondi - "daisies flower spring"

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