A girl named Maisie and her mother are on the way to New York on the Titanic.
"Mum," calls Maisie, "the Titanic is going to sink!"
Maisie was gutted, but her mother did not believe her.
Maisie's mum asks, "What is going on in your noodle to make you speak such tosh?" "You should be chuffed to be on this blinding and unsinkable ship," yells Mum.
Maisie was not trying to start an argy-bargy nor was she trying to throw a paddy.
She was olagonin' because she did not want her mother to think she was losing her marbles. Maisie was very aggro as she was trying hard to keep them both safe.
One hour later, Maisie's mum is scundered. It turns out, the Titanic was sinking, and there were no lifeboats left. They would have to wear a life belt and find a way to survive in the water. After the two of them exit the ship, they start to swim away from the heavy water pressure. The water is foundered.
"Sorry for being a muppet," Mum apologizes.
"It's ok," assures Maisie, "I know this situation is very quare."
They get a little further, and Maisie begins to cough. The freezing water was starting to affect her health and give Maisie pneumonia. A few minutes later, Maisie honks. All of this was hard cheese.
Maisie is on the verge of hypothermia. They need to find a way to get her out of the cold water as soon as possible. Suddenly, Maisie's mother spots something. It is a lady named Hannah on a lifeboat. She is coming to the rescue! Hannah pulls Maisie and Mum onto the lifeboat.
"Thank you much," Mum is very, very pleased.
"My pleasure," welcomes Hannah.
Luckily, Hannah was prepared with plenty of food and eating irons to last them the voyage.
After a fortnight, the three passengers went aboard a bigger ship, one that would get them home in a few days. When they finally got back to Britain, they said their goodbyes and went home. Maisie was so racked and still very sick from the water. The adventure had been no gas.
If only I believed Maisy, thought Mum.
Irish/British Glossary: Mum- Mom, Blinding- excellent, Chuffed- to be very pleased about something, Hard Cheese- bad luck, Marbles- intelligence or good sense, Paddy- a temper tantrum, Tosh- nonsense, Argy-bargy - an argument, Gutted- devastated or sad, Aggro- aggravation, Quare- very unusual or unlikely to happen, Olagonin'- Moaning or Complaining, Fortnight- two weeks, Muppet- fool, Racked- tired, Gas-funny, Noodle- your head, Scundered-embarrassed, Foundered- the state of being extremely cold, Honk- to vomit, Eating Irons, cutlery, eating utensils, or silverware