Maya held onto each memory like her life depended on it. The few memories she had of her mother were her treasures, but no matter how many she gained, they would never be enough.
“I went back because I wanted to remember things you know, like I felt like I was forgetting so much and...” her voice broke again, “...and I thought it would hurt less if I had more to hold on to... But like, now I have more and it just hurts so much more.” As much as she hated crying, she could not hold it back anymore, “She’s gone, like really gone, and I can’t get her back... And... and… and I just want her to be here again.. And I want to see her. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t do not having a mom… and forgetting whether or not her ears were pierced… and I know that this all really stupid and trivial and I’m supposed to be able to handle all of this because I’m not a kid anymore but I can’t and I just really don’t want to do this without her”
Sebi grabbed Maya’s hand and squeezed it. There was so much she wanted to say to comfort her, but Maya kept so much bottled up inside.
Now the floodgates were open, “but like everyone else has moved on and of course I want them to be happy and all,” her chest heaved up and down as she tried and failed to steady her breathing “but like dad got remarried like five minutes after she died and Noah pretty much thinks Naomi is his real mom and it’s just me now, trying to hold on to all of these memories that seem to just keep slipping through my fingers.”