The Great Idontknowrod Race Historicon 2019

After along day of volunteering on Thursday, I wanted to get into an event that required little in the way of cognitive ability, a surfeit of low cunning and an soupçon of goofiness. I found just the thing in my friend Zeb Cook’s game, the Great Idontknowrod Race. This is a race game, clearly an homage to the Iditarod race in Alaska,using a variety of somewhat loosely Winter themed vehicles... from Santa’s sleigh to Batman’s car to a Soviet Armored car. Zeb ran this with Winter terrain and a set of rules the Hawks use frequently, Future Race. I don’t recall a lot about the rules, other than you have to move all your movement, and you turn at the middle of your move.

Being a HAWKS game, it had to have a standup
Zeb explaining the rules and layout.
The course.
This was my contraption... a Turkish steampunk sled.

The Course being set, we were activated by random card draw, an initiative format I approve of. The general goal was to collect gold coins in order to "win". The implied goal was to cause mayhem, take out your enemies, and do goofy stuff that stretch both credulity and the laws of physics. Every vehicle had a unique feature to help it in the race. Mine was the Steam Cannon which could fire a finite amount of times. Everyone had a sidekick that could exit the vehicle and pick up gold. Mine had a big ol' steampunk musket which you can see above.

The race pretty much split into two halves immediately-- The Santa sled, a dog sled, the Aerosan and the Armored Car on the left, Batman, some guy in another dog sled, and me on the right. Just because of initiative draw, I knew I wasn't going to get the first gold piece. The obstreperous kid running the sled near me got the angle on me first. .


The guy on the sled in my sector was a real pip. Let's just say-- all kinds of macho and in yo' face. So I played right along, shot back at him, and knocked his sled down to half damage. Once he was in danger of being shot to pieces, his tune changed to be more conciliatory, but I like messing with these types. "You called the tune, son, I'm happy to oblige!" That kind of thing.
The guy on the sled's special ability was to summon a Wendigo, which is a Northern clime monster. The Wendigo was attracted to the nearest movement and took off after me. In addition there was a raging mastadon in the center of the race that seemed to want to eat me for lunch.
And there is the Wendigo, temporarily distracted by the Batmobile
Wendigos and Mastodons.. Oh My!

I took advantage of getting away from the murderous dog sled boy while my sidekick went over the side to grab a gold coin in a tight spot where I couldn't turn around. The advancing Mastadon separated us for a bit.

Meanwhile, the group on the other side-- Santa, the Aerosan, the other Dogsled, and the Armored Car, were scrapping away. Santa's sled blew up, and rather than murdering Christmas, I offered Santa and his grenade tossing elf a ride. It helps that this team was run by Jeff Wasileski, an old friend.

Yeah, Fool's gold.. I'm not buying that

At this point it was clear that all the gold on the board had been found. There was a generalized rush to finish line (same place as the start line). During the race to the finishline, there was some shooty confrontations and last minute attempts to hijack other racer's stashes of gold coins. In the struggle for the finish line, the pouty murder hobo I had encountered earlier lost his vehicle. The combined Santa/Turkish team made their way leisurely to the end. This was a fun game, exactly what I was looking for-- goofy, strange and imponderable.

This way, Santa!

We ended up bringing down the Wendigo AND the Mastadon.. Santa's mysterious "presents" he was tossing surely helped.


Created with an image by Jack Ross -

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