This exhibit will be a compilation of reflections on three inner parts of the brain that shape our views on ourselves, The Inner Defender, The Inner Critic, and The Inner Guide.
1. Inner Critic: “I’m not good at it; that’s why I can’t do it.”
i. At least several times an hour I have a check by my inner critic. Due to failures to do well on recent exams, it has popped up spectacularly in attempt to reorganize plans for the future. The original plan was to have a 3.0 GPA by next fall to allow study abroad in Spring. With the information I have at this time, it is well worth it to consolidate assets and relocate them to more localized education, similar in vein to the footsteps of my parents who had no university education. Using this path requires more intense work until a well-paying comfy job opens up.
i. Clearly the plan outlined is far too extreme. The proper choice of action, now that information has revealed that the low grades can be replaced. Resources should be moved to more intense study exercises, optimization of daily schedule, and a future conscious attempt to pick a major that doesn’t require math. By changing the plan to one that keeps me on the same path, it allows for a more positive outlook that the inner guide would give.
2. Inner Defender: “I would’ve made an A if my professor could speak English!”
i. While it is present, my inner defender rarely shows up unless it’s blaming my parents for my upbringing. However, it has risen that I’ve been blaming friends recently for a difficult housing situation. I originally wanted everyone to be all right together in Thornhill Village for next year, but things fell apart and one group of friends ended up in a different living area and I lost an opportunity to get a house closer to the road and laundromat. Now I have to walk a way to get to my house, and I have to walk across the road to do laundry.
i. I really don’t like to blame people for my mistakes, just blame them for being useless trash, disgusting degenerates without a purpose to society, or nerve wracking. But I feel my inner defender is the weakest when it comes to redistributing blame on other people, and is easily overtaken by my inner critic which will activate if I put blame on others.
3. Inner Guide: “I did this, so now I need to correct it.”
i. My inner guide is on most of the time, it is what keeps my schedule and progress reports. I need it to tell me when work is required, not optional, and is a safety net when I make the mistake of putting off work. It also calms me down when I am overworked or stressed, such as during exams last week. It keeps me calm and allows me to focus. It is my blind confidence, it (when it works) keeps me from being stuck on one question until the end of time. It destroys the self-doubt I am often plagued with.
i. I feel as long as I am focused, everything can work out. If I am focused, everything goes according to plan. The more I keep this line of thought, and put the guide in the front seat, work gets done, and when work gets done, things are good.
A lot of my life has been filled with silent self-contemplation. I was always my best company, and of course I have the best advice in the world. Most philosophers developed their way of thinking this way. However, unlike Plato or Socrates, I plan to be employed instead of a filthy hobo person. The voice that most often provides my plans, motivations, and goals is my inner guide. I believe the formation of my plans and goals stems from Freud’s Id, Ego, and Super Ego. The inner critic and guide are all controls by the Super Ego, made for its organizational mechanics (the inner defender as a source of denial is a product of the Ego according to Freud, however identifying outside problems and solutions is the job of the Super Ego [not that I’ve taken a single psychology course]). It’s an OCD riddled idealist that wants everything to be perfect, and will do anything to achieve this. The Id gives it purpose, without the Id, there is no motive. It’s the spark that moves everything along. When the Id and Super Ego is mixed, it presents a whirl of want and idealism, creating a violent hurricane of extreme ideas. Only the Ego sees the world, and it works as a filter and compromise. While the Id and Super Ego provide the paths and motives, the path that should be taken could not be found without the Ego, who filters all the excess. In short, the Ego has a smoking problem. As this is nature and therefore what God intended, there is no reason to change this. To understand the mind is a great asset, the better you know yourself the better the decisions you can make. Through self-reflection, cultivation of the inner guide becomes more achievable, and allows for better decision making in the future.