Commitment Phobe

Denton - kdentsxo - 41 - Journey Log 9 - Flexibility

When a young person such as myself thinks about the definition of commitment, we tend to think of making this big commitment to be in a "committed relationship". Frankly, this scares the crap out of some people my age. It could even freak out people in their twenties or thirties.

me in my committed relationship with Leo

According to Google, commitment can be defined as the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc. Another way to look at it is an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action. Most young people would say that the second definition about restricting freedom is the more accurate one. However, the one that states that commitment as being dedicated to a cause etc. was actually listed first, therefore I would argue that it is the more common definition or use of the word. For example, have you ever heard anyone say "I can't I have a prior commitment that day." This just means that they already agreed to do something else that day.

My mom and her boyfriend who just got engaged this year!!

Why is it that people automatically think of commitment as something related to a relationship? I read an article on the Huffington Post that asked the question "Are today's young people afraid to commit?" The article gave some good insight into this common "phobia". On average fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. Therefore, a lot of today's young people have grown up and seen their parents get divorced. So maybe they are thinking, "why would I even get married if its likely that it will just end up in a nasty divorce?" Some researchers even blame social media as to why this new generation, generation Y, cannot seem to commit to anything including a full time job. They think that we are more connected but less committed than we ever have been before. Which is really kind of sad when you think about it.

the type of relationship I want

I would consider myself half commitment phobe and have hopeless romantic. The reason I'm half and half is because I love the idea of love just like the next girl. (I think I have read/seen almost all of Nicholas Sparks's books). But I'm also very analytical so I have come to realize that not all relationships are rainbows and butterflies. There isn't one big scene where two people will come together and they will be happily ever after. I am not naive enough to know that happily ever after, as it is portrayed in books and movies, hardly ever exists.

But have you ever noticed that even the individuals who are openly against commitment, never stop looking for love? I think being a commitment phobe is an ideal that people thought they needed to believe in so its really just half assed. If a young person were to find the job of their dreams don't you think they would be willing to commit to a full time position. I think they would be willing to do it. Besides, everyone knows they're going to have to get their heart broken at least a few times before the right one comes along. So why is it that commitment is such a scary thing? I mean, after all it is just the dedication to something and we all know how dedicated Generation Y is to everything social media.

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