Homesick

Kelly Denton- kdentsxo- 41- Journey Log #2- Warrior- Creativity and Metacognition

I've known for a while that I enjoy creative writing. I'm not a very good writer nor am I very creative but whenever I write a narrative I seem to get really into it. I enjoy these journey logs because I get to write about whatever I want and add my own spin to it. I've even been told that when I go to tell someone a story, I tend to drag it out much longer than it needs to be which would verify my love for writing narratives. This was definitely the case with our first raid. I spent so much time on the story that I forgot that there was the literacy component to it. I wrote my raid on a vivid memory of my last high school field hockey game so I had a lot of detail. I ended up going over my word count on my first draft. It hit me after the raid that maybe I should try to write creatively more often...

My team celebrating

I am one hundred percent a homebody. When I was younger I used to cry to my mom that I wanted to hang out with friends but I just did not want to sleep over at their houses. All I wanted was to be in the comfort of my own home. Obviously I grew out of the crying but I never grew out of loving the comfort that my house gave me. Maybe its because I have a close family or being surrounded by my pets or I just really love my queen sized bed, but when I go home on breaks from school, I never want to leave.

My brother, sister, and me.
My grandparents at my high school graduation

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Clemson and I couldn't see myself anywhere else, but sometimes I feel like something is missing. When that feeling hits, I get homesick and a little depressed honestly. I call my mom pretty frequently in hopes that it makes me feel better. She tells me all about life at home including all the funny/stupid things that my pets do. Talking to her helps, but a few hours after we hang up, the homesickness is worse.

My mom hates when I take snapchats of them :)
My dog, Sam, lookin' really snuggly

I have amazing friends here and I think we've all adapted well to college life and being so far from home. My two best friends are from Massachusetts while my roommate and I are both from Pennsylvania. We all bond over the fact that the south is nothing like what we're used to in the north.

My friends and I celebrating the Nat'l Championship!

My friends and I talk about a lot of different things but we never talk about being homesick. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who gets that nagging feeling deep in my stomach. I'm sure I'm not and if I just brought it up I wouldn't feel so alone but something always stops me. Maybe I don't want to admit it to them even if they would understand. Maybe I feel like being homesick makes me weak. I don't even know where that stigma comes from because my sister still cries every time she goes back to school and she's a junior!

My sister and I at the USC game over Thanksgiving break

I had this idea the other day about writing more often. I've been thinking about it on and off since I had the "epiphany". I thought about starting a blog. Even typing it out on here makes me nervous. I've never brought it up to my family or friends because I'm really self conscious about it. I actually know a few people who have blogs on their Facebook pages and my mom has read them. I honestly believe she would think it's a good idea. So I don't think anyone would judge me but still, I've kept this idea to myself (until now) for about a week. I feel like a blog on the ups and downs of college life would be interesting to read. Whether they were a high school senior getting ready to go off to school or a fellow college student, I think the reader could find the things that I write relevant to them.

My parents and I during Family Weekend

I planned on looking up blogs to see if someone had the same idea as me. I thought if someone else had a blog, maybe I could read it and I would feel inspired, but I never did. I think that really looking into it and telling people scares the crap out of me. I feel like I tell myself at least once a day, "just do it". And not in the Nike sense where they want you to push through a tough workout or whatever. But in the sense that I psych myself out of doing a lot of things because of the fear of judgement. Why I would ever think someone would judge me for complimenting their shoes, I'll probably never know. But you can bet money on the fact that I liked a person's shoes, wanted to tell them so, and one hundred percent never did it.

A picture I wanted to post to Instagram but never did /:

I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to change the way that I think but the first step is to recognize it. So maybe one day I'll get the courage to just do it.

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