Words Finally Said Being a buffalo state bengal

Being an introvert, coming into the environment of athletes was an adventure. That's not a compliment. I was a just above average (and I mean JUST above average) runner in high school. I wasn't recruited. Never really wanted to be. That would mean talking to people. Something I didn't want to do going into college. When I joined Buffalo State's track team, that was still the motto. Get in, get done and get gone. I wasn't there to make friendships or relationships. I just wanted to do my own thing.

The minute I was thrown on to the team, I was surrounded by multiple talents, multiple personalities, and multiple agitating situations. I never understood how anyone would think that an effective way of communicating would just be to speak louder than the person already speaking louder. But most of all, I was surrounded by multiple extroverts. Not ideal for someone who just wanted to be alone. It's not that everyone bothered me (some did). I just didn't want to be bothered.

Making "friends" was easy for me. It takes little to no effort. I don't standout in any way, nor did I try. But people noticed me. "You don't talk very much." "You're so quiet." I just smiled. The people that wanted to talk to me, did so. Those who didn't, didn't. I didn't care either way. We'd soon forget each other. What's the point? I never really considered anyone a "friend". I feel that people have a loose definition on what a "friend" is. To me, a "friend" is someone I could trust with my deepest stuff. Describing a friend in that way, I only have zero.

I sometimes thought that wasn't the way to go. Other times I thought, if it ain't broke? It's a sure fire way to never be hurt. That's how a pessimist thinks, which I am. No one could ever leave me if I left first. In many ways, that's how I ran on the track and that's how I live my life. Being a Bengal changed me. It taught me that sometimes you have to let some people take a peek into your life, not a full view though. "Show 'em just enough to win." Open up some and they'll open up to you even more.

I still leave plenty of room for me to leave when I want. Some people will leave when they want but I still want to get the door first. Same as on the track.

Created By
Dallas Taylor
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