MASKING YOUR TRUE NATURE
Whether you are raised in a loving or not so loving family environment, rarely do you emerge from childhood completely unscathed.
From an early age, you learn to protect yourself. You do this through coping mechanisms you adopt and through personality traits you develop. They ensure your safety in the world.
You are born with an instinct to survive, to seek security and stability. As a child you adopt unconsciously and/or consciously certain behavioural patterns to gain this security and stability.
By the time you've grow into an adult you've become accustomed to wearing different kinds of masks. Masks designed to keep you from getting too hurt.
However during this process you remove yourself further and further away from the true nature of who you are. Closing yourself off from authentic relationships. Living instead with this feeling of being "stuck" or "empty" or with a "deep sense of sadness".
During your childhood when you were exposed to a strong emotional or mental energy release; a hurtful or painful event. It leaves an energetic imprint (a memory/recording) of this wound which you continue to carry with you. These non-serving energies then 'stick' to your energy bodies.
The imprints have the potential to replay the memories within your energies, which can leave you feeling confused, drained and agitated.
Identifying our protective shields, (which resemble more like sub-personalities) opens the opportunity to begin "unsticking" these energies which happens as you heal your inner child. Healing her from past wounds moves you closer to your core and you begin to enjoy a deeper connection with your true self.
Which mask do you wear?
Miss Cool - outwardly she appears to have mastered whatever it takes to stay calm in all situations. Undisturbed by conflict or chaos. However, beneath the surface, her repressed emotions may either result in a nervous breakdown, or she periodically has small outbursts on poor innocent victims, in a way to release the ever building pressure below the surface.
The Social butterfly - she may very well be the life and soul of the party, but is innately lonely. She does small talk really well which compensates for feelings of insecurity. She has a large social ring, though few are really true close friends. She likes to keep her conversations superficial because deeper dialogues may expose her anxiety.
The Humorist - this is a defence mechanism for her. A form of protection. She likes to use jokes during conversations to prevent them from getting too real or deep. Because whilst she is laughing, she isn't crying! Uncomfortable with conflict, she charms her way out of confrontation. This prevents intimacy and as such she doesn’t allow anyone in, thus she is lonely. Sarcasm as a form of humour especially tends to be rooted in pain.
The Overachiever - unconsciously there are adults that pursue perfectionism as a defence against failure. They feel the need that everything must be done right, then their world can’t fall apart. Unfortunately a perfectionist is always at the mercy of possibly something going wrong. She therefore lives in a constant state of anxiety. Her stubbornness, obsessiveness, and lack of trust build a barrier between her and her loved ones.
The People-Pleaser - she will go to desperate lengths to win the approval of those around her. Her sense of identity is largely based on the assessment of others. Lacking a strong foundation, she seeks the advice of friends, experts, co-workers, mentors etc. She is easily influenced by others, and decisions are especially difficult for her.
The Martyr - she secures her place in the world by believing her role is critical, while making everyone around her somewhat uncomfortable. While she can bring families together with her compassion, her exaggeration of sacrifices may also drive loved ones away.
The Bully- she can appear in many forms. Her assertion of control can either be subtle by way of gentle manipulation to make you see it their way, or she can be aggressive, even physical. She appears confident in her assertive delivery of opinions and order, but are innately insecure. Riddled with self-doubt and a desire to be respected, drives her hostile behavior; an obsessive need to feel right that comes at the expense of others’ rights and feelings.
The Control Freak - she achieves a sense of security through order and power. She needs to know everything that is going on, that everything is in its proper place. This helps to relieve her fear of the unknown, of ambiguity, of uncertainty.
The Self-Basher - She suffers from acute case of unworthiness and insecurity. She projects a negative view of herself to others. Unconsciously to protect getting hurt she hurts herself first, reprimanding herself afterwards by belittling and undervaluing herself. This self-deprecation becomes a defence mechanism in order for her to avoid any risk of intimacy.
The Introvert - she is deathly afraid of failure and rejection. She is so afraid of making a mistake that she may refuse to challenge herself. And to avoid the risk of not being liked, she would prefer to endure loneliness. She blushes easily when embarrassed and doesn’t say much for fear of saying the wrong thing.
THE FORGOTTEN INNER CHILD
Each of us have child-like and adolescent behaviours, memories, emotions, habits, attitudes, and thought patterns.
Many have forgotten their inner child but she is there, she has never left you.
She is a part of you that has an autonomous sub-personality. She has her own needs, desires, issues and goals. Meaning that your inner child functions independently, and sometimes in opposition to, the more mature parts of the you, the adult personality.
Throughout childhood your inner child is exposed to various experiences both good and not so good. Meaning she may have a few different characteristics that show up at different times, depending which part of her is being triggered.
Do you recognise your inner child? ( maybe more than one)
The Abandoned Child - she feels lonely, insecure and unwanted. The adult self in turn seeks attention and safety and fears abandonment, in relationships, even in marriage. Busy, divorced or separated parents are often the main reason for the child feeling unwanted and struggling with issues of abandonment.
The Fearful Child – she experienced growing up much criticism from parents or caregivers. The adult self has a need for external validation, to hear continuous affirmation and encouragement. Without it, they are nearly always filled with anxiety and panic.
The Neglected Child – she experienced a lack of love, affection and nurturing during her childhood. The adult self can be withdrawn, depressed and feels lonesome. They find difficult to know how to express themselves, and on a deeper level believe they are unworthy of being loved.
The Playful Child – she had a balanced up bringing. The adult self knows how to have spontaneous fun, and is relatively free of guilt and anxiety.
The Spoiled Child – speaks for itself. The adult self is usually impatient and may tend to throw temper tantrums when immediate gratification of their needs and wants are being met.
The Disconnected Child – she was raised in an environment that didn't teach her how to build and be close to someone. For the adult self this manifests itself by being unable to easily trust, and so keeps themselves to themselves, uninvolved. Intimacy for them can be fearful and a foreign experience.
The Discounted Child – she was treated like she didn’t exist, generally ignored and made to feel like she was invisible. For the adult self, this manifests in a near complete lack of self-belief and self-worth. They need consistent loving attention and support to feel validated.
Hi I'm Rachel G.
I am a spiritual Growth Coach - A caring and compassionate one. I specialize in inner dynamic coaching. My speciality is guiding you through an inner journey of self-understanding and transformation. To help you accept and love all of what makes you uniquely you.
I love connecting women to their superpower - the child that still lives within.
This is my inner child who I am so grateful to have reconnected with. She is my little superpower, full of love and compassion.
I forget you.
I ignored you.
I even shut you away.
I’m sorry, is what I want to say.
You never left.
You were always there.
Yearning for me to see.
You were still inside me.
Hidden by a mask.
Please forgive me, is what I ask.
I was lost but now I am found.
I feel your pain.
From a burden you carried for far too long.
I see your beauty glow.
I hear your truth
I love you is what I want you to know.
You reconnect me to my truth.
You remind me who I am.
You are me and I am you.
You are my very best fan.
Apart we are alone, together we are strong
You are my little hero, today and tomorrow.
Thank you my sweet one
Now it’s time we have some fun.
Gemaakt met afbeeldingen van Ivana Cajina - "Nadhia doing what she enjoys most - laughing." • tony hernandez - "Two Sides of the Coin" • Senjuti Kundu - "This is two-year-old Malki, her name means Queen in Yiddish. We were at the park playing with paint and bubbles and this shot was a remarkably lucky one since toddlers move so fast. This photo is important to me because it captures her innocence and reminds me how happy and carefree I was that day, hanging out with her." • Annie Spratt - "Childs hand with butterflies" • Yousef Espanioly - "Ciel" • Alexandru Zdrobău - "Carolina"